Have a Chulo Christmas!

santa came to town
bringing reindeer and presents
some were left for me



Now if only it were a White Christmas with cold, ice and snow...

Memorable Scents: The First Dominican

while younger than i
he was special in my life
if he only knew



The first time I say no, it's like I never said yes...

Newspaper Clipping of Interest: USA Today, 20 Dec 05

they're hard to ignore
visual learners agree
numbers and pictures



Anything goes? Are you so sure about that?

Tales from the Subway: Carlos & Ricardo

it's fiction of sorts
afflicting some you know
life's day to day tales

Ricardo sat alone on a Brooklyn bound N train in the early hours of the morning after spending a night of catching up at the club with a close friend. With his iPod in hand and earbuds in ear, Ricardo was encapsulated within a bubble of reggaeton and calm.

The train ran swiftly in the morning -- while local, due to the few subway riders getting on and off, the stops passed by quickly. Still consumed by his music, Ricardo failed to notice this mysterious Latino step onto the train and sit across from him. When he realised he was being watched Ricardo lifted his head and glanced over.

Wearing grey Sean John sweat pants with blue stripes down the leg, wheat Timberlands, a grey hoodie and a dark green coat, he sat with his head relaxed against the window of the train; his umbrella was still wet from the rain outside. Feeling the weight of Ricardo's stare, he lifted his head and they caught eyes. Discovered, Ricardo turned away and got back to his music, still watching the boy out of the corner of his eye.

It was Court St. when Ricardo noticed something strange, from across the train it looked as if this guy was rubbing on his shit thru his sweats. Looking again, it was clear, he had his dick in his hand, and he was looking at Ricardo. Ricardo was sitting on the train, in his usual spot, resting his feet on the seat in front of him. The train stopped, and the boy spoke something across the train. Still listening to his iPod, Ricardo did not hear what was said, and in a flirtatious way mouthed the word "what?" back to him. He spoke again to Ricardo, and again Ricardo mouthed "what?". Gathering all of the courage he had, Ricardo stood up and crossed the train, sitting next to this attractive stranger.

"I'm sorry, I could not hear what it was you had said. What's up?", Ricardo asked. The boy replied, "They're giving tickets to train riders who are sitting with their feet on the seats." "They're also ticketing those who are asleep on the train." he continued. Ricardo quickly scanned the train, "Well it looks like I won't be alone getting a ticket, they're all asleep, he's asleep and she's got her feet on the seat as well. It looks like you're gonna be the only one not getting anything." he quipped with a smile. Holding his shit, the guy got back to what he was doing minutes before, his dick noticeably hard thru his sweats.

"What stop is yours pa?" Ricardo asked. He replied that he was getting off at fifty-ninth street, the same stop as Ricardo. Ricardo reached over, brushed the guys dick with his hand and asked, "Need any help?" The guy pulled away and smiled, "Not here.", he replied, then continued to jerk his shit. Ricardo was confused, but thought it's whatever whatever, mixed signals or something. The train pulled up to their stop and as they were about to exit from different ends of the station Ricardo asked again, "Are you sure you don't need any help?" The stranger replied, "It's raining, walk with me, I got an umbrella."

As they left the subway station, Ricardo introduced himself. With the quickness, his companion followed suit, "I'm Carlos." By now it was pouring outside and the sky was that bluish grey that was indicative that the sun was coming up soon, however the clouds seemed as if they had other plans. The boys walked together making small conversation, Carlos held the umbrella with one hand, his dick with the other. As they rounded the corner, they stopped and stood close to each other, as if huddled for warmth. Again, Ricardo reached for Carlos' dick, as it was still hard in his sweats. He slowly jerked it in the rain thru the cotton. Carlos made his own moves for Ricardo's dick, feeling it thru his jeans and rubbing on it.

Watching for traffic and pedestrians, Carlos asked Ricardo, "Yo, let me see ya shit pa." Ricardo was eager to oblige, and got his dick out his jeans. Carlos rubbed the precum over the head of Ricardo's dick. Ricardo put his hand into Carlos' sweats and rubbed the foreskin over his dick, then removed it from his sweats to catch a peek of the thing that has had him captivated for going on an hour.

Before things got past the point of no return, Carlos said that he had to go to work and that it was in the other direction of where Ricardo was going. Ricardo, hoping to finish this later asked him for his number. "Nah pa, I got a girl at home, can't let her know about this shit." Carlos replied. Ricardo thought to himself for a moment and then offered to walk with him for a couple of blocks. Together they walked and flirted until they both arrived at a mutual thought. As they began to pass a lobby of an apartment building, Carlos reached to check if the door was open -- it was not. Ricardo saw one across the street, "How about that one pa?"

Running across the street, they found the door unlocked and stepped inside. Carlos put the umbrella down and they were now standing next to each other, both hard and clearly bellaco. "Can I kiss you pa?" Ricardo asked. "Yeah," Carlos replied, and with that they began to make out with a quickness, Ricardo feeling on Carlos' dick and Carlos doing the same.

With Carlos' dick in his hand, Ricardo squatted down and began to suck on it. Carlos stood there, head knocked back, with one hand on the back of Ricardo's head. "Damn pa, that feels mad good." Carlos said. Ricardo continued to suck Carlos' dick for a little while longer, and then stood. "Pa, get mine." he said to Carlos. Carlos was quick to repay the favor and dropped to his knees. Ricardo rubbed the back of his head and thought to himself, for a guy with a girl friend, his head game's on point. They continued to give each other head for some time, pausing in between to kiss more.

Carlos' dick looked ready, he was breathing heavily, and was clearly eager to bust. Catching the clues, Ricardo knew what time it was. Together Carlos and Ricardo both jerked off until they came in the stoop. Their nut shot on the wall and on the floor in majestic bursts. Putting their dicks away, they were in agreement that whatever it was they had just participated in was hot. As Carlos gathered his things, Ricardo leaned over and kissed him one last time before they parted ways. "Have a great day at work papo." Ricardo said to Carlos. Carlos smiled, "You have a good day too pa, thanx for everything, I had a great time." Ricardo replied, "Me too!"

The two strangers walked into the rain heading in opposite directions of Brooklyn -- unknown if they'd ever cross paths again.

Boys will be boys...

Begin the Fall of the Republican Machine...

under indictment
his rising star shall soon fall
justice will be ours!





When the current regime falls, the balance of the Force shall be restored...

A Welcomed Surprise...

strange interactions
welcome and unexpected
when they're of substance

Something strange happened to me today -- I received an email from someone who had been reading not only my blog but my .mac site as well. Basically the email said that he enjoyed reading my blog and was interested in getting to know me. Feeling slightly intrigued, I responded back to his email and to my great surprise I found an intelligent creature on the other end, The Scientist from the North.

At 24 years of age, The Scientist from the North is working on his PhD in linguistic anthropology. He's a Sagittarius whose birthday falls on the 20th of December. He is a Latino of Puerto Rican descent who that grew up in Rochester and now teaches civics to high school students in Chi-town while working on his degree. In addition to these things, he's adorable...

But come on now, let's be realistic... Is this another one of life's cruel games or is there really potential for more than playing phone tag and chatting on AIM?

Personally I'm holding out for option B. I had spoken to Azteca about this, and he laughed at me. He had said that I was the only person he knew that would travel to Chicago for a piece of ass. I took offense to this because for the past 72 hours The Scientist from the North and I have been having some hard core debates on social issues and the state of homo affairs as they exist both in the real world and online. Some might believe that these are staple Chulo topics of conversation, and while it may be true that I've shared my thoughts on these topics in the past, the last time I have really gone at it like this was when Zayra'kotu and I would lock horns in the frozen tundra.

Something inside is telling us to be careful but at the same time there are voices inside of our head that are encouraging the behaviour of pushing the envelope in order to not only test limits, but also to find out what's really going on inside of his head.

It's interesting -- he discovered eljangueo, the main news outlet for The Nation of Chulo, while perusing The Flyer Boy's blog. After he arrived, he made certain assumptions about Chulo that after actually asking questions about he later found out to be not accurate in their entirety. I don't believe I turned out to be a disappointment, but I was definitely different than what he was expecting to find.

We all know that I'm not one to give up face value all at once. Like an Ogre, Chulo has layers and it's only thru careful examination that you can get to them all. I'm sure that by the time the roller coaster reaches its peak, The Scientist from the North will realise that all he expected to find is right there before him, he just needs to open his eyes and be receptive to the fact that it's filed under a different name.

Please keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times and pull the bar as far down onto your lap as possible...

Great Minds Think Alike...

on the other side
thousands of miles away
he is in my thoughts



While we've yet to meet in reality, Freddy and I are on the same page...

Silver Bells... (Silver Bells...) It's Christmas Time for a Chulo..

christmas snow abound
everywhere but in this state
my moment will come!


CLICK ON THE IMAGE TO VIEW CHULO'S X-MAS LIST

Christmas is a time of giving... here's the list... give... (to me!)

Three Shots... Use Them Wisely...

with that stupid grin
i've never been more taunted
by a computer

Let's go huntin' fer sum duck!

Remind Me What I'm Giving Thanx For...

gobble gobble bird
dry and stuffed with liquid bread
waste of table space

So I won't even touch on the fact that Thanksgiving is pretty much the White Man's continual reminder that they tricked the Indians into giving them their land, women and food. I mean it's tradition, so it must be good; rooted in American values. But then again, everything is rooted in American values if it is related to taking things that were never ours to begin with or imprisoning people who look different or have different beliefs than us. (examples, Puerto Rico & Hawaii and Japanese interment camps & Guantanamo Bay respectively)

Hooray! Pass the Turkey...

Seriously now -- I have hated Thanksgiving for as long as I can remember. The turkey has always been dry, stuffing is just gross and the whole gathering of the family to celebrate something that really has nothing to do with us is contrived. Last November my grandmother (insert best friend here) died. She would continue the Thanksgiving tradition every year sweating in the kitchen making the turkey stuffing and the turnips. If turkey wasn't gross enough the turnips definitely would do it for you.

From the time she died, all holiday spirit died with her. We had a black Thanksgiving that year and Christmas was just another day. This year the tradition continues -- another day, another nasty ass bird. Keep in mind, while Nana is no longer with us, the parentals are busy trying to make it like it was. The Father Unit came to me, placing the stuffing all up in my grill, and said, "Look, doesn't it smell like Nana's stuffing? I'm the only one on the planet who can make it like this." To which I replied, "Sure." I don't want to kill the holiday spirit, but not for nothing, for me it died a long time ago.

This year I invited The King of Spain to join my family & I for Thanksgiving dinner. We all know he's a Dominican and they're really not up on American holidays eighties music (other than Madonna) or the concept of "crumbs" but that's ok, there's always time to learn new tricks. Everything was going to be perfect -- I work until 5, pick him up at PBI and then we'd both return home to find my family waiting with a late Thanksgiving dinner. Of course the cock sucking whores that live in the state of Florida, ie: The Father Unit's Family, invited themselves to the house for dinner.

It started out when they called and invited us to partake in Thanksgiving dinner with them, however Monkey (The Mother Unit) declined as we were having guests here, and with empty words she said they were more than welcome to come here and do dinner with us. As expected they declined... As that was thought to be the end of it, we continued with the original game plan -- that is until they called up early last week and asked if they were still invited. Monkey, not about to be a Jew, said of course and with that ruined whatever sliver of a holiday we might have otherwise enjoyed.

Thanksgiving Events: Revised
08:00 Chulo Wakes Up
09:00 Chulo Arrives at Work
12:00 The Father Unit's Family Arrives
14:00 They Eat Dinner, While Chulo Works and The King of Spain is on a Plane
16:00 Fed, the Family Watch the Football Game (HOLD UP... 86 the Football Game, the TV is Broken)
16:30 Lacking Football, The Father Unit's Family Leaves, Yes -- They Chewed and Screwed
17:30 Chulo Gets The King of Spain at the Airport
18:00 Chulo & The King of Spain Arrive Home to Find Cold Left Overs
18:05 They Eat Their Microwaved Shit of a Meal
18:10 They Vomit
19:00 Unfulfilled, Chulo & The King of Spain go to Mickey D's

Does anyone else see a problem with that? Indeed, once again Chulo's being punished for some ungodly thing he's done in the past. Why is it that every time I try to do something nice, some jackass relative has to come into the picture and ruin my game? One day, and I pray it be soon, I will be lifted from this place and returned to the glory I once had -- far from sycophantic relatives who come just to eat my nasty ass turkey and far from five cent whores who troll the internet looking for ass while passing it off as looking for friends. Until that time comes, I have my wit and my Apple to guide me along the path of the righteous.

It's meeeee... I was the turkey all along... MEEEEE!!

Growing Panes...

life keeps on going
strangely you remain the same
surrounded by change

I realised the other day that the world is changing. The funny thing tho, thru the window of my mind, I can see the movement of time. I see my peers in business clothes doing the work thing. I see people come into the block, some a few years younger and others older than I, with wifey [or baby's mama(s)] and the two kids by their side. They drive their BMW or Range Rover to and from their apartment to the gym, the grocery store and every other place it is they go to in the course of the day except for work -- it would seem that they have no need for such trivial things. And I'm left wondering, when will my life also have meaning?

From the day your shot out of the womb your parents had dreams and aspirations for your future. Typically, for me at least, it was graduate high school while maintaining good enuf grades to get into the college I wanted to go to, get thru college in four years while developing skills to be independent and an intuitive thinker and then continue onward into the workforce using the degree I paid eighty grand for. I have accomplished most of the above -- a wrench was thrown into the gears after graduation that in effect put my life as I knew it on pause.

As I sit in Palm Beach County, writing these things for you to read, I'm in effect, wasting two years of my life. From my arrival to my eventual departure, I don't foresee returning to this place any time soon. Along the way, I've been lied to by family (the ruse that got me to agree to move here in the first place), I've broken my leg in Miami, as my friends were here for Spring Break and it was only an hour drive, I have maintained my high school job while having gone thru college to receive a degree, and I've been worked to death at said job for a substandard wage given my education and experience at the Block.

I know I've painted a grim picture of my life, however, given what I came from to what I have become, it has become ever more dark and seemingly paradoxical, even to me. In my travels to and from work and trolling the internet for signs of life, I have met people. The majority of life in the state of Florida is in its own state of confusion. I'm not sure who told these people that they were the greatest things to ever grace the United States, however they're sadly mistaken and the person who planted this seed in their minds should be taken out back and shot execution style in the head. Don't get me wrong... as of today 21 November, I have actually met, in real life, flesh and blood people... that I do not work with, who have turned out to be really cool peeps. Bear in mind, over a year being here, I can still count that number of good people on one hand. I won't name names, but they know who they are... granted I might not call like I should, but that's not because I don't like them, I don't call anyone.

But back to the main point, primarily the windows of my life clouded with uncertainty and despair. Being in this antiquated and hurricane damaged Republican stronghold, I've been almost rocking on the edge of a dark precipice. Has my life become a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive, one that is hard to change? If so, then I am in a rut. Or perhaps this all could be one tricky game that Eleggua has set before me to see how I fare given obvious hardships and complex puzzles to solve. Either way, I am aware of the consequences that will befall me should I fail in a) breaking free from the rut or b) not completing Eleggua's game to a satisfactory degree.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip; that started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship...

AIDS Education: A Poorly Funded Program Flawed from the Get

you had one with you
but you chose not to use it
illusions of trust

The more I watch this homo world that is evolving before my innocent eyes, the more I fear the next breath I take. With the advent of the internet, the ease for men who have sex with men in locating their next hookup has become a paradox more perplexing than the chickenhead who crossed the road. With HIV/AIDS running rampant and unchecked in the community, one is only left to wonder, why is it that things continue the way they do given all the information we know?

Having spent a large amount of time trolling that horrible website while my leg was broken I've come to realise many things. Here's a brief list:

• HIV/AIDS is here to stay, and regardless of how informed we become, it will take over the population before 2015
  
  
• The homos on the internet have seen this warning and have ignored it because it could never happen to them -- they're too smart for that
  
  
• By the time a vaccine/cure for HIV/AIDS comes to our civilization it isn't going to work at all because there will be super-strains of the virus everywhere due to multiple infections

Call me Chulo-damus -- granted my cryptic and apocalyptic predictions are not written in rhyming quatrains, but you get the point. I don't understand how it is that AIDS education has failed to touch on any of this... actually, I understand very well. If this was a straight issue, people would be shouting from soap boxes around the world, but because this is a homo thing, no one really cares -- except for the blacks. We all know those DL brothas who get down with other DL brothas, then come home to their wives and pass along their DL STDs that no one knew about. That's a large reason why many of the HIV/AIDS cases are black women. (For Black HIV/AIDS Resources, Click Here)

We need to be smarter people. I know everyone likes to have a good time and get their nut off, but there is no reason for ignorance -- especially blatant ignorance that leaves you sick and dying. This disease does not care if you're DL, if it's your first time, if you got a wife or a baby's mama -- everyone is at risk, and by being stupid and not protecting yourself, when you finally find that one person who means the world to you, there's going to be a lot to explain and a lot more that you're going to have to get thru before you can even think about getting as close as you would otherwise have been able to.

And as a wise condom slogan once said... "Don't be a loner, cover your boner."

Sam... The Dog...

he died around friends
leaving behind all his fans
strangely disfigured



Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

Nana

people touch our lives
once they're gone, we remember
growing thru their words

We're going on a year since I moved into this infernal house. On day two we woke up to find my grandmother dead in her newly furnished room. That day I had to work, but I found it odd that she wasn't up yet, as she always would wake up before everyone else and do strange things around the house -- feeding the dog muffins for example. Not thinking anything of it I went to work like every other day. In hindsight, we should have called the ambulance the night before as she was having heart problems, but she wouldn't have it.

Later that afternoon I found my father at my store. He had a strangeness around him and I could feel something wasn't right. I asked, "Where's Mom?". He replied, "In the truck." I asked, "Where's Mom's Mom?" He replied, "Not in the truck..." With that, my heart sank, for I knew that what I had felt that morning was just a small amount of the emptiness that I would feel in my house, in my heart and in my mind every day after she left us.

She's buried in Rhode Island -- 1,500 miles away from us. On the day of her funeral strangers came up to me and told me that I lost my best friend. I knew it was true, but to have random people tell me this had me in tears. My eyes shaded behind dark Diesel sunglasses, my body wrapped in a black suit, tears rolling down my face.

After the service we went to the cemetary where our family priest said some words that in reality were insignificant because nothing could replace her. Roses covered her casket and holy water rolled off like the tears down my face.

I pushed everyone except for my mother out of my life because no one could understand the emptiness and sadness that I was going thru except for her. Thru all our ups and downs, battles and good times, it was the three of us that were always there for each other.

Now we're both alone in Florida. She has her husband and I have my sister, pero in reality we only have each other and everything else is an incidental. My mother blames herself for this; I do as well at times.

I won't go and say that everyone has a time that God takes them because that's a crock of shit. Everyone does have a time to go, but that means that it's even more important for us to appreciate and fully enjoy the small things in life, for you're never truly sure how much time is left to say "I love you" or "Thanks". Hopefully they knew that they were your reason for living and without them your world ment shit.

Atleast that's my experiance with losing one of the few people who have ever been close to me...

Nigga Hush...

they're drawn on paper
yet so wise beyond their years
artistic genius

This evening Andrelaso reminded me that a new cartoon was being shown on Adult Swim. Yes, today, Sunday November 6, 2005, Aaron McGruder's The Boondocks was shown to the world. It was the best thing I've seen on television in some time. In addition to witty political satire, it was chuck full of racial remarks that probably shouldn't be on television. For those of you who are not aware, this grew out of a daily comic strip featured in over 350 newspapers nation-wide. Some keep it in the editorial pages where as others have pulled it from the newspaper all together due to its controversial views on issues such as the war. If you live in a conservative area, more likely than not, you will not find it.

That's the thing about Republicans -- they're good for running their mouthes, however when it comes to a differing opinion it's anti-american and Democratic lies. Boondocks has come at a point in time where we need free speech and fresh ideas. A graduate from the University of Maryland, McGruder brings current issues together with a killer urban style unlike anyone else. It really is too bad that he doesn't have a larger readership because high school/college aged individuals could take a lot from the ideas that he presents and spin it into something they can arm themselves with to educate others.

What am I talking about -- why would we want to educate people who don't vote? It's not like they're going to make a difference if they decide to go to the polls. Right. If we could motivate these people to vote, a small village in Texas wouldn't be missing their idiot at the present time. This blog is obviously coming too late because it's too late to register to vote, however if you are registered, I'm sure that someone is going to be up for office on Election Day, perhaps an incumbent who grossly doesn't deserve the office chair s/he is sitting on.

Regardless, it's up to us all to make a difference. While Aaron is using his talent to write and illustrate The Boondocks, you too can make a difference by casting a vote. If we could have gotten enough people who didn't vote to do their Constitutional duty, then we wouldn't be in the mess that we presently reside.

Vote Republicans... Off the Island...

Oral Sex, A New Take...

curiosity
unlike sucking another
the taste of your own

You see it in Latino Fan Club movies and anything Ricky Martinez is featured in -- the porn star sucking their own dick. Of course they're packing like twelve inches, so that's not as amazing as it sounds, seeing that when they bend over to tie their shoes, they poke their eye out. What is amazing is that people packing an average of five and a half to six inch dicks are also making this feat a reality. And as such, coupled with being more horny than a rhino, I always seem to get this unnatural desire to just do the damn thing.

Back in the days when I was young (I'm not a kid anymore, but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again) the reality of my own dick in my mouth was something that was possible, while infrequent. The desire was not one driven my homo impulses, but rather driven by pop culture. Clerks was the catalyst for me. If you've seen the movie, you know the scene I'm referring to; if not, it went something like this...

Randal: That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died.
Dante: How'd he die?
R: Broke his neck.
D: That's embarrassing?
R: He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick.
D: Shut the hell up.
R: Bible truth.
D: Stop it.
R: I swear.
D: Oh, my god.
R: Come on. Haven't you ever tried to suck your own dick?
D: No!
R: Yeah sure. You're so repressed.
D: Because I never tried to suck my own dick?
R: No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a fucking pervert because he tries to go down on himself. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it.
D: Who found him?
R: My cousin? My aunt found him. On his bed, doubled over himself with his legs on top. Dick in his mouth. My aunt freaked out. It was a mess.
D: His dick was in his mouth?
R: Balls resting on his lips.
D: He made it, hunhh?
R: Yeah, but at what a price.
D: I could never reach.

It's not even the need for a blow job that drives me, it's more of the whole taboo surrounding the act. Think about it, you're sucking your own dick. How amazing is that? What's next... fucking yourself?

According to websites, and they're in abundance, regardless to the size of the dick, (obviously larger ones are gonna make it before smaller ones) the key is stretching and practice. I can stretch and I can practice... but I don't have the patience. It seems that every time I try, I always end up getting mad bellaco and then just busting... keep in mind, the dick is like an inch and a half away. And it's not like the dick is small, sources close to Chulo say it's a force all its own.

Who knows, perhaps tomorrow the force will be with me...

Decisions, Decisions...

mobile subscriber
knowing is half the battle
keep up with the times



Satan, together with Nextel... Yes you can!

The New Bradshaw...

shining and special
it's so bright, so beautiful
hanging 'round my neck



"It's good to know that the ones you love will always be in your heart. And if your very lucky, only a plane ride away." - Carrie, Sex and the City

The Wandering Detectives...

to protect and serve
trolling the streets for cute boys
while undercover

You've all heard about that random homo that was kidnapped, killed and found later with bones exposed; flesh rotting in the Alabama sun. He was minding his own business, walking down the street heading home after going to the store or wherever it is in Alabama that homos walk to and walk back in the middle of a well lit street, having a false sense of security.

He was snatched off the side of the road by two strange men in a dark car, never to be seen again, except for his picture on hundreds of flyers taped thruout the town, offering a reward for any information that might lead to his whereabouts. Unfortunately for him, he's dead. Myself however, I am very much alive, and have taken note of his untimely demise when walking outside to and from places in an effort to pay better attention to my surroundings. (Of course that statement doesn't really apply when I'm listening to my iPod and have no concept of the world outside my head, but that's another story.

After Andrelaso, Principio and myself met up with L.L. we headed back to Brooklyn to feast on Martinez, the luxury cuchifrito that delivers. We ordered the food and then realised that we had no coke. So with the food on its way, we headed out into Sunset Park to find a box of Coke cans. At first we went to the grocery store on the corner, a glorified bodega, but with check out lines and less produce. We knew they wouldn't have what we were looking for, but it was close, so we tried anyway.

As expected, they did not have regular Coke cans, however they did have Pepsi and Diet Coke, but those both taste like shit, so we continued down the block to the real bodega, the one run by the Arabs with the bangin produce section. They did not have cans at all. They had one liter bottles of Coke with Lime. Still not what we were looking for, so we left. The almost-grocery had two liter bottles of Coke for cheap, we should have bought them, but I was hell-bent on cans. They stay longer, bottles go flat, who wants that?

As we leave the bodega and walk down the street, a car with two white men slowly roll up on us. Thinking homo blood bath, I immediately switch into self-preservation mode. With the adrenaline flowing and the pupils open wide to capture all the light we notice that they're trying to talk to me. I don't talk to strangers so my conversation was minimal and I slunk back away from the road for I was freaked out. In an attempt to ignore them, hoping they'd go away, we continued on when I spotted a small market across the street.

We make it to the crosswalk and now they got the deer-stare goin on. Checking me out hardcore, I try to just play it off and continue on my mission. Then they get out of the car. Meanwhile, the other two have identified our strange men as NYPD Detectives. That's phenomenal. I just wanted a drink, and now I have this to deal with. The best part, they think I'm cracked out -- high on some kind of whatever.

Now with the body in self-preservation mode, our boys in blue are sure that I must be on something for my eyes to have such a dramatic reaction. I try to tell them that I am not on anything, but unfortunately they don't believe me, and began to ask the other two if I was on something. They say no, but the dramatics continue.

It was then that my father's voice came into the back of my head... "If you ever have any problem with the police, always remember that I was a policeman and we stick together. Use this card [Fraternal Order of Police Membership] in the event that you need backup." So I did. You know, I say, there's really no way I'd be cracked out like that. My father was a police officer in Rhode Island and I wasn't raised like that. ::Produce Card:: As one is looking, the other asks me, "If there's nothing wrong then what's the problem."

To which I reply...

We're homos. You know -- we like the dick. And with the two of you creeping up on us in your dark car, I freaked out because that's when homos go missing.

Andrelaso and Principio take a step back, knowing they heard what I said, but unsure if it was all in their head. The two detectives step back all kinds of confused like now what do we do and I just stand there with a look of whatever-the-fuck on my face, clearly freaked out and disgusted. They told me that what I had revealed to them was "too much information" and that my friends need to find me a "happy stick" because clearly I like it and was in need. If they only knew what happened Saturday night. Bidding us a good evening, they return to their car and leave us in the middle of 4th Ave.

Andrelaso and Principio still speechless continue with me to the market, we purchase a two liter bottle of Coke and get the fuck home. I didn't hear the end of it all night, but that's ok, because even tho I got the shit scared out of me, we were fine and the homo bashers turned out to be police. While I was profiled by the undercovers walking with a negro and a thugged out gringo, at least I wasn't the victim of a hate crime.

We have an All-Points Bulletin for three minority homos going from bodega to bodega, take caution, they're suspected to be cracked out and extremely dangerous...

Pink Cookies in a Plastic Bag...

chilling in the street
his name is L, he's from QNZ
my peeps by his side



One day I'll be in the picture instead of taking the damn thing... I did speak to him tho...

Medieval Shadows...

rises from the darkness
with an unnatural sound
speed like a dragon



When it spits fire, then -- and only then, will I be afraid...

Who Needs a Car? Or Gas for That Matter...

flying underground
tunnels and electric tracks
all day and all night



Si ves algo, di algo...

Quite the Surprise...

shrouded in darkness
the mysterious grimace
it must be the sith



What is thy bidding, my master?

View from the Top...

looking from above
small fires burning below
as bright as the sun



Welcome to New York City... the local time is 10:25... Hope to see you on another Song flight soon!

Later that Evening...

after the power
stopped flowing thru the wires
we sat in the dark



You really should be at home sleeping, as nothing good can come from driving in a powerless city...

It's Just Some Rain...

you know it's coming
yet you stay and wait for it
till your lights are gone



Expect a Category 1 storm to hit over night... Category 2 at the most...

Eye Nine What?

inside a small box
yet bigger than a bread box
the status light glows





Is it too smart of a phone or am I just too stupid of a tech enthusiast?

Do You Like My Raft?

crossing the river
can be a dangerous task
with the wrong people

What? You can't figure it out... it's only Chinese!

Words from an Easier Time: Scandal

what is it i want
music knows, but not my mind
teamwork works wonders

Well, isn't love.. primitive...
A wild gift that you wanna give...
Break out of captivity...
And follow me, stereo jungle child...
Love is the kill -- your heart's still wild

Shootin' at the walls of heartache...
bang! bang!
I am the warrior...
Well I am the warrior... and heart to heart you'll win...
If you survive...
The warrior -- the warrior.

"The Warrior" by Scandal

My Life is a Zoo... Play!

furry animals
bearing fangs and sharp talons
please let me pet you

Post your name and high score as a comment!

Mad love to Ghetto for bringing this to my attention!

Diamonds on My Necklace...

he graces the stage
both fresh and influential
a man of our time



they won't leave in the night... i've no fear that they might desert me...

National What?

a small piece of you
yet ever so important
for the bigger lie

Today was National Coming Out Day. I'm sure it was a great time at the Ithaca College campus, they're always celebrating things like that. I mean granted, I was wearing things to support their cause and I did speak at their rally, but that's another story.

When such a small aspect of your life gets its own day, it makes me wonder when National Chulo Day is. I mean seriously now, so many people hate homos to begin with, gathering in a large crowd to tell everyone seems dangerous. The problem is our society's reliance on labels -- you too know that's what it stems from. If we didn't have gay or straight then we'd be better off. A group of humans... doing what feels right... as humans. Instead we have "normal people" and faggots all participating in essentially the same act, only one is "natural" and the other, according to Donnie McClurkin, "It's amazing how we turn a blind eye to the fact that our children are directly influenced by what they see and what society portrays as normal living. Homosexuality has really ravished our children."

And can you believe that those negative thoughts could come from a god-fearing Christian... who used to ride the dick like a champ?

It's very interesting to watch people change as they become more in tune with their homo side. Some catch on fire and burn the house down with their flames while others continue on as if nothing has happened. Could that be because nothing has? You're the same person you were the day before National Coming Out day, however today everyone knows. Is that a reason to put on a dress and flutter around like a butterfly on crack?

No. But that's what society sees. They see the cracked out tranny -- they see twinks running around town with lattes, weighing a mere twelve pounds -- they see the overly effeminate man trying to make it in an otherwise macho world. Ain't no one saw Karamo coming... that was just not possible... did it change how he was percieved tho?

You have people you call friends that bail at the drop of a hat. It doesn't matter that you're the same person the day before you decided to share something so close to you it drove them away. And if they can stick around, many of them assume you're going to try to fuck them. Seriously pai, you're not that hot and I'm not that desperate. It's like Andrelaso's friend Tank. This kid is clearly a closet case, and he's always talking about how Andrelaso would get with him. While I'm not saying it's not true, it just seems strange that someone who is OK being a "straight" man with a homo friend would be so stuck on it, unless deep inside he wanted it too.

I will admit tho, these days there are more patos around than there are swimming in the waters and flying the sky. It's as if it's the new thing to do. And this is all evolving into the ultimate world that I had envisioned, humans doing humans. Even Sulu is a homo! If we're all sucking the dick and eating the cooter than it's a party! No longer will we be trapped behind society's norms or our girl friend's (real girls homos, real girls) bullshit excuse that they got a headache.

The revolution is on your doorstep, are you ready?

Memories: Ithaca

the frozen tundra
glistening with snow and ice
flowers emerging

night falls...
classical music plays in the background as the snow falls to the ground...
the deer outside my window grazing on what little grass is still above the snow...
the sky filled with hundreds of twinkling gems in the distance...

on the new dawn the sun glistens over the white and brilliant surface...
slowly rising, your breath disappears in the warmth of the star's embrace...
the crunching of the ice beneath your feet reminds you of how fragile things truly are...

the sky opens... white clouds surrounded by a blue blanket...
unique flakes of crystalized water drift to the surface...
as darkness takes over, and man crawls into his bed...
the deer become masters of their universe.

"The musk is inside the deer, but the deer does not look for it, it wanders around looking for grass." - Kabir, Indian Philosopher

Words from a Freestylist: Lisa Lisa

not really eighties
but clearly around that time
a ballad of love

And I know and you know
That if we get together
Emotions will go to work
And I may do something I might regret the next day
And end the hurt

Oh, I don't know
The way that I feel
I'm so afraid of a one night deal

I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love baby
Because I need you tonight
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be on love baby
Because I need you tonight

"I Wonder If I Take You Home" by Lisa Lisa & The Cult Jam with Full Force

Familiarize Yourselves With this Concept...

how remote the chance
you both have mutual friends
now more than ever

Yesterday Chulo had quite a day. I've always known that people I knew would know other people I knew -- even if I didn't know they knew, but this was too much. Chamaquito is friends with Homolicious dominicanus. I had thought I was done with that ill-fated September night, however it has returned to me.

There is this theory that MIT and IBM worked to develop called Six Degrees of Seperation, however in the homo world it's more like one and a half degrees and a penis or two.

How is it possible that of the infinate combinations of homos, I, Chulo, find the ones that know each other. It's amazing that I have such luck. It wouldn't be bad if we all knew each other and had good times together because I'm used to such things, but how am I supposed to whine and complain about this kid that did me wrong... to his friend? Shit like that just doesn't work out.

I expect things like this to happen in NYC because we're all after the same people or the same kind of people are after me. Here in Florida however, a larger, more populated state, I was not prepared for any of this circle of friends stuff. It blew my mind... and not in the good way.

The moral of the story is this, and you should take note, nothing good can come of boys, especially boys from online, they're stupid and you should throw rocks at them.

Chulo does not advocate throwing rocks at anyone... if anyone picks this as their course of action, (mad props) I can not be held responsible... (looks around)...

LUPS...

by coincidence
our relationship began
one hell of a ride

Going to school in a college town with an Ivy League university across the lake was an interesting experience. While we didn't have Greek Life, you had better believe that they did. This is the story of the Lambda that haunts my thoughts. It was always funny -- I would tell my friends never to trust a Lambda and talk all this shit, but then ultimately it was I that would be in the same situation. Funny how life works out like that, isn't it?

Our relationship was odd from the beginning because he was dating this other kid that I had known, Puerto Rican Surprise. I thought it was odd that we would cross tracks thru him because while I knew him, he wasn't really that big of a player in my life. Zayra'kotú was a different story. She was dating his little, The Nica. Puerto Rican Surprise knew all of these people and it made me wonder if I had ever spoken to Principio on my own. Come to find out, one night at school I did indeed talk to this kid, pero it was online, and it really wasn't that big of a deal then -- I was always busy and he was a Lambda.

Fast forward to one ill-fated evening in January of this year. I was browsing the ads on The Horrible Website and this Daddy Yankee-lookin nigga hit me up. His face looked familiar but I couldn't place it. It was genuine curiosity that led me to continue talking to him -- our interests on the website had conflicted, but it was too early for it to even matter, and if it came down to that later, things could always be worked out.

The more we talked the closer we became. Something was really special about Principio and he made me feel good inside. Eventually something had sparked between the two of us and a relationship ensued. It was wonderful and when I was with him it was great. I even told him about Puerto Rican Surprise & we were able to work thru it. The only problem was the distance. I would go and see him and he came to see me, so we worked around it.

As wonderful as it sounds, it didn't work out. I had broken my leg and things crumbled from there. I still think about him at times thru-out the day. Someone will do something that reminds me of him or I will see something that gets me thinking. It's kind of funny actually. I think of him and he thinks of me, but I don't want to rush into anything like that again. While the first time was great, I want to be able to devote more of myself in a relationship like that.

The last time I saw him was when I was in NYC for the Medina=Citi fiasco. We had gone out for drinks and ended up discussing things relating to the future. Overall that night was interesting -- from start to finish -- it was like old times. Afterwards he kinda flaked out on me and made it into some kind of drama. We were able to work it out tho after I told him what he was doing. He realised he was acting mad shady towards me and that he had been doing it for some time. I'm glad we were able to work things out because since then we've become better friends.

I'm going back to New York for Halloween, it would be nice to go for dinner to catch up...

Words from a Dominican: Romeo

with the hottest ass
his voice echos thru the house
he's something special

Ya volvio la cualquiera traicionera mujer zuela...
La que me causo la pena...
Que cambio mi vida entera...
Que no me dirija una palabra porque no respondo de mi...
Esto no se trata de el machismo...
Una dama y una diabla no es lo mismo...
Bendita sean todas solo por haber nacido mujer...
Pero a la mier.. las mando si son infiel...
Cuidadito si cuentas la historia como no es por bandida te bote...

"Volvio la Traicionera" from God's Project by Aventura

The Last Supper...

together eating
with island dominicans
where is the rest room

Today in the park was an experiance, however dinner is turning out to be an episode of some homo tv show that will never be produced. I feel bad that I brought Chamaquito here to Orlando to partake in this voyage.

Secretly I planned for the worst, because I know Dominicans, but these are a breed never encountered before. The only silver lining -- one of them just arrived from La Republica Dominicana and he's yet to be turned into a pato completely... and he doesn't really speak english.

Looking at these now familiar faces we have come to the following conclusions:

• Azteca: My dear Mexican has fallen into a den of pato sin. I don't know what will become of him, but I refuse to lose him to the dark side.
  
• Chamaquito: This adorable individual has an interesting future in store for him if he chooses to continue to hang out with Chulo, that's for damn sure.
  
• Maldita Negra: I would love to have a conversation with him... see what's going thru his head and what he thinks of the world around him. Just in from DR, surely this must be a change from the campo or even the life in the Capitol. Time will tell if bendito will fall into the drama as clearly our next person has.
  
• Sister Pledge: This Dominican was hit by the homo truck. And he was hit very very hard. Conversations with him primarily consist of topics relating to dick in some way, shape or form. He dominates the conversation with some kind of holier than thou loca behavior that, when in the presence of other pato either turns them off completely or in the
  case of this last individual, turns them into a queen as well.
  
• Dominicana: Azteca's man. Overall he's been hit or miss. At this moment, he's flaming out with Sister Pledge at the table, and reminds me of a flash fire raging out of control. He does have potential tho. Aside from his occasional PDA, when he's not with that other payaso, he's fine to be around.
  

Jury's still out on our voyage to Orlando, but when I land in New York at the end of October, I can't wait to have T-Montez petting my dick on the regular, because while he has his fem moments, compared to these individuals he's the butchest man on the planet.

I rock NY.

Homo Love...

two dicks in one ass
the thought of spending your life
with a real fem dude

Now Readers, this post comes to you as I enter the Universal Studios theme park. Azteca is here with his boyfriend Dominicana. Typically Azteca isn't one for the fem guys, but this one seems to be special. I've yet to see it -- but again I don't have to, he's not mine. I just write about it.

Azteca, traditionally a straignt acting Mexican pato is now coming together with Dominicana, a slightly fem Dominican pato. It still to this day boggles the mind... PDA - Pato Displays of Affection - as much dick as I suck it doesn't get easier for me. I can kiss and joke around, but the whole holding of the hands, it jus seems so contrived and artificial.

A lot of it might have to do with my jaded attitude towards pato love -- if you haven't yet caught on, I'm not completely sold. You know it really wouldn't be that big of a deal if he wasn't as much of a girl. It really doesn't matter because I'm just carrying on; if Azteca is happy, then I'm happy for him.

One day my prince will come...

Paradise by the Dashboard Light? Try Again.

driving down the road
its amber light in the dash
yes - it can happen

Azteca and his friends are in Orlando for the weekend. I don't live THAT far from Orlando and he's always driving from his mom's house in Deltona to see me so I decide I'm going to go and play with him for a weekend. Conveniently enough I had the weekend off from my job so everything worked out well. I hate to drive long distances, and from the sound of Azteca on the phone, I might need some backup -- with that, I invited Chamaquito to join me for a weekend in Orlando. He was more than up for the challenge and came to my house from the South. After we dicked around in the house for a few hours killing time, we finally decide that it's time to begin our voyage. With a snack and two cans of Full Throttle we left the house for the Rover.

Equipped with our necessities (food, drink and reggaeton) we got on the turnpike. Bear in mind that part of the allure of the Rover is the better gas milage over my Z28 Camaro and the fact the my radio is currently broken. Jam'n and snacking, Chamaquito and I chat about things such as life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Averaging 90 mph down the road, night falls and our voyage becomes exciting. Driving at nite is always more exciting because you never know where Florida Highway Patrol is lurking and now the chances of getting caught for speeding have increased dramatically... that and I only see colors and large shapes.

I was under the impression that I had enough gas for the trip. The Rover had a little over a half tank of gas -- how much could it possibly take to get there? More than I thought. As we're speeding down Florida's Turnpike the dash becomes illuminated by the gas light. I mention to Chamaquito that we need to stop and get gas. He has a realization... there's no place to get off on the turnpike to get gas because the exits are like millions of miles away from each other. I chuckle and we continue to search frantically for a place to get off the turnpike to refuel. Unfortunately we keep driving into the darkness with no sign of life on either side. To conserve fuel I engaged the cruise control and set it for 70 mph. It was then that we saw the sign... "Service Plaza 9 Miles" I reset the trip odometer and begin our mission to make it to the gas station. We're doing well. 1.5 miles... 2.7 miles... 3.6 miles... 4 miles... The the Rover started to slow down. 70... 65... 50... 35... 10... roll. We're now slowly rolling, with whatever momentum we had gained by speeding down the road, across a narrow bridge over some random body of water. By staying off of the rumble strip along the side of the turnpike, we managed to land the Rover onto a stretch of grass along side the road.

I looked at Chamaquito and he looked at me... we kissed, and it was sweet. We still had no gas, but it was sweet. I guess you can't have everything. What I did have tho was roadside assistance as part of my AMEX Platinum card holder benefits. As I'm talking to the AMEX representative, I see a familiar sight in my rear view mirror... Yes, it's the flashing of the blue and white trooper lights that usually require me to stop and pull over... this time I've beaten him to the punch. He comes up and asks me if everything is OK. I explain to him that I ran out of gas, and he then asks me to wait patiently inside my vehicle while he checks to see if the Road Warriors are still out.
So as I wait, I asked Chamaquito if he knew what that was. He didn't. In the mean time, AMEX and I had arranged road side assistance to bring me two gallons of gas. Pretty good, since the service plaza is like five miles away.

When the trooper returned, he let me know that the Road Warriors were still out and that he had them dispatched to my location to bring me gas... free of charge. I sat and I was amazed. I have never heard of such a glorious service in my life. He returned to his car and he left us on the road. He instructed us that they should be there within twenty minutes. Chamaquito and I, inside the Rover listening to Wisin y Yandel, waited patiently.

Meanwhile, during this whole ordeal, I had spoken to Azteca and he offered to come and bring gas to us in the event we did fail to make it to the plaza. I couldn't bring myself to have him drive all the way to our location just to bring us gas and then return. It was just really and inconvenience on his part. Maybe if I didn't have my Platinum card and the trooper hadn't sent the guy to bring us gas then I might consider it, but there were already people there whose only job is to help me when I need it.

As we laid in the Rover waiting, we saw the flashing of yellow and orange lights in the distance. It was our Road Warrior. When he arrived I explained to him that I needed gas, and with a quickness he returned from his truck with a red container filled with gasoline. In my head a scene from Foxy Brown flashed thru my mind. You know the scene, where the Crackers have her tied to the bed in the small shack and she manages to free herself. Well she breaks free and throws gas all over one of the Crackers and he cries out in desperation, "This is gasoline!!" To which Foxy replies, "You know it motha fucka!" before tossing a match his way.

Sorry for my short Blaxploitation Cinema moment, I don't know what got into me. Back to the story...

So the Road Warrior guy empties his container into my fuel tank and Chamaquito and I head to the Service Plaza. We pull up to the pump and then I see the most distracting thing... regular gas costs $3.15 per gallon!! For a brief moment I was taken aback, but as gas is a necessity, reluctantly re-fueled paying the toll for gassing up on the turnpike. I hope the Jew bastard who owns the station sleeps well at night knowing he's raping poor, unsuspecting travelers. Where is federal regulation when you need it? But alas, another blog.

Pulling away from the gas station, I call Azteca and let him know that we're on the road again and in good shape. He gives me the remainder of the directions I need to rendezvous with his company. Closer than we thought, Chamaquito and I get off of the turnpike and head onto the I-4 heading towards International Drive, the major strip in Orlando where the hotels are located. I call Azteca to let him know, and he instructs me to look for the building with "Sheraton" written on it. I remind him colors and shapes, and he revises his previous instruction, now I'm to look for a building with a giant globe on top. I saw it right away and headed for the entrance. Azteca was outside waiting for us upon our arrival. We gathered our things, locked the door and headed inside.

Who knew what was to become of us, one thing was for sure, with me and Azteca, it was bound to be entertaining.

Where's Chulo... Not Live Anymore?

over an acre
two houses under one roof
the grass was greener



Just look for the iron gates...

Memories: Starry Nights

surrounded by trees
urban life non-existent
bright points in the sky

you could go outside during the new moon...
gaze up at the sky...
and there, like sparkling diamonds..
shining brightly for the world to see...
nuclear fission at work -- billions of light years away...
a glimpse of a time long gone...
represented thru a point of light.

Stars glow brightly in the city; capitalism and consumerism prevent you from viewing them.

New Level of Comfort

with lips soft yet firm
hands tenderly exploring
breathing side by side

We've been talking for ten days. It started like everyone else, getting the basics out of the way, but unlike everyone else, he was real and self-aware. That's rare these days, especially in Florida. People down here think they know what they want, but in reality it's all lies. Chamaquito was different.

This is an individual who knows himself - knows how to joke and have fun, while maintaining sincerity and open-ness. He understands me and sees the Chulo that is often passed over for short term gains. I can talk to him and not have to worry about whether he's going to judge me with his next breath.

This evening he came over and we watched "The Interpreter". It was nice having someone with me to share a movie... and fill this empty bed of mine. Everything came naturally, from the awkward silence to the initial brush of skin. After the movie we curled up together and fell to sleep. Sleeping, like actually sleeping with someone, is the greatest feeling in the world. Having the warmth of another body next to you -- it's never too warm. Watching the rise and fall of his chest, tracing the way his lips came together, his taste... everything was how it should be.

In the morning he had to leave me to go to his job. Morning wood had other ideas and he came and cuddled for another half hour before setting out. He promised he'd call, and I believed it. This time I knew I had someone who was worth my time instead of a lot of these other jokers down here.

Chamaquito is probably one of four quality guys that I have met in my year in Florida. I am not about to rush things, but I know that this kid is welcome to stick around.

Blue is my favorite color...

Honorary Resident...

chilling on the stoop
going downtown on the N
life in a brownstone



Te extraño calle cincuenta y seis...

Memories: Winter

frozen timelessness
cold air entering your lungs
frolic in the snow

i miss the crisp winter air...
sitting outside, surrounded by snow, in a navy sweater and dark blu jeans rolled up over my timbz..
watching the flakes drop during twilight, the sun looming on the horizion...
ice covering the powerlines and tree branches...
deer.

Yet another instance where Florida has failed me...

Auditions

you wear your best clothes
you meet up and kick some game
ya'll mess then he bounce

In a desire to reach out and make friends in this god awful state, my study of faggoticus floridius continues. Unfortunately it has continued with limited success. If the ultimate goal was just to find a random hookup then the study would have been an overwhelming success, however a friendship of sorts is the ultimate goal, the hookup is jus a bonus. Using that horrible website to draw applicants for potential friends, we identified three potentials. Each candidate was sent thru rigorous tests to establish motives, character, mental capacity and over-all "good guy-ness". After they were selected and evaluated, we developed enough confidence to meet them.

• Homolicious localas was the first candidate. He lived close by which made leaving my circle easier for me, since I'm really not used to it. He was a professional and seemed to be very well rounded. He has his own home and a great job. I spoke to him on the phone and he seemed eager to chill and hang out. He was a dog person and liked to shill at home -- a homebody. I made it to his home and he invited me inside. His dog, a Jack Russell took immediate liking to me -- it was as if it was her that I came to see. He and I sat on the couch and watched reruns of a syndicated comedy series on a superstation. We began talking about our lives. He spoke a lot about what he didn't like in guys and what he was looking for in an ideal person to be with. I told him that I believed in a lot of the same qualities and could understand where he was coming from -- it was the truth. He then continued recounting the story of his ex boyfriend of like four years who turned out to be a deadbeat. After his story and my feedback he realised that it was getting late and he had work in the morning and he, in a round about, but pleasant way threw me out. Before I was out the door tho he offered me something to drink.
  
  Since I left I have not heard from him at all. Not at all surprising because I don't think he liked me from the get. I wasn't hurt by the lack of followup because in all honesty, I wasn't feeling him that much either. He wanted too much from people and wasn't willing to give enough of himself. So we can call that one a draw, not really a failure, but clearly not a success
  
  
• Homolicious puertoricanus was the second candidate. He demonstrated a fun and upbeat attitude and seemed very down to earth. He was attractive and we shared similar interests. Overall he seemed like he would be a great person to have around. I don't invite many people to my house because I live with my family, however I felt that I could take him home and not have to worry about the house burning down. As we chilled at my place we kicked back doing regular hang out things like video games and movies. Granted for some odd reason The Mother Unit was awake and she was interjecting herself into our time together, and it might have made him slightly uncomfortable, she eventually went to sleep. We hooked up. Afterwards we spent a half hour cuddling and he had to get home because he had to work the next day. I thought the evening was a success, not because we hooked up, but because we seemed to click really well.
  
  The next few days I had tried to make contact thru various mediums with limited success. As I hate to admit failure early on, it would appear to be painfully obvious to me that I did not succeed in my quest.
  
  
• Homolicious dominicanus was the final candidate. This candidate exhibited an outgoing and confident personality, much like my own. He was older, but within the +/- 5 year limit I have restricted myself to. He lived far away. We spoke for some time before I decided that at 3 in the morning I would go to his place and sleep over. There was no pressure for a hookup, jus a sleepover. In my head I found it odd, but he really reminded me of myself by the things he said to me and his attitude so I felt comfortable with him and staying at his place for an evening. Once I got there we got into the bed as if it would be a sleep over. I'm kinda fresh sometimes, and I told him this from the get and the hands wandered. They found him hard as a rock. Go figure. Hard to image with Chulo sleeping next to you. We ended up hooking up. Nothing major, jus some innocent play. After we got our nut off we both went to sleep. Again, I thought it went well. I woke up in the morning, and kissed him good bye. I left his place feeling really good about him -- that I would see him again.
  
  As the days went on however, clearly he was not under the same impression. Days went by with no communication from him, and I finally built up enough balls to ask if I had done something wrong. He replied that he didn't want to hook up, and we did. An obvious failure in attaining our goal. This time it hurt tho because I thought that we really had a connection. Not even because of the hookup but because of what seemed as genuine conversation -- conversation that for most would be hard to fake.

I don't know about you Reader, but I find that my friends are the best people to hook up with. They're never going to bail on you and you know if they end up not calling you for a minute that either something is wrong or they've just been busy. These people in Florida are demonstrating different behavior -- they make as if they're interested in more, and that the hookup really wouldn't be that big of a deal. That they're mentally capable of handling the hookup without flaking out on you. The evidence of our two subjects is clearly to the contrary.

This has done nothing to help us in our quest to become one with our environment and has instead pushed us further from life in Florida and closer to home. It has also made us more jaded about homos in general. You open up a little bit, share yourself both mentally and physically. You feel a connection, but then all of it is nothing but a sophisticated charade. It's fine tho because Karma is all around and it will eventually get back to them. I might hurt now, but i'll be fine because I know I'm better than that -- one day they'll feel what they put others thru and realise that they're no better than the people they sought to avoid the whole time.

Also, as we have examples with hookups and no hookups, it's clear that sexual acts cannot be the defining flaw in each test case. Rather it lies in the individual. In each case they got what they wanted from me, be it sexually related, a need for companionship or someone to talk to. Once they were done, they tossed Chulo to the side. I'm not down for that. I mean if you were genuinely looking for a friend, then no prob -- that's part of being a friend. But this was purely one sided and left me feeling like shit. I miss New York.

This is like auditioning for a movie roll... and not getting it... no callbacks...

Chow Time

if this was a class
i'd be your got damn teacher
you know you hungry


















I made this!

Damn, Can I Check Your Oil?

oily, greasy mess
damn i want to strip you down
and check your fluid

So this just goes to show that you can't send me anywhere without me getting a hard on. Today, my father is like, "Chulo, your car needs an oil change. Go make yourself useful." So the obedient one that I'm NOT was like, yeah aiite. After thirty minutes of dicking around the house, listening to Aventura, I was like, he's right, the car does need an oil change. So with the AMEX that does work in hand, I headed to the car and drove to the Mobil Pit Stop whatever the fuck. It was when I exited the vehicle that i saw him.

Imagine this, a beautifully tanned puerto rican with black hair and the whole square cut sideburns/gotee thing. Now add a navy jumpsuit with Mobil on it. Make him sweating like a pig, with rough dirty hands. Cover him with oil and grease. Finally include brown, piercing eyes and a bangin smile.

I was like, "Yes, I'll suck your dick right now. Do you charge extra for bodywork?"

Of course he can't get down, or if he does get down it would be too easy to let Chulo know he was interested. That's just my luck tho. But shit! He was fuckin bangin!! I was there for like an hour and a half waiting patiently as he worked on my car, secretly wishing he was working on me instead. He came out to me like three times to ask me questions about what I wanted done, but I was pretty much oblivious to all things that didn't include looking at him or the true reason for my visit -- the oil change.

On a real note tho, I have a Z28 Camaro. She's blue. We go fast. So it's important to keep good oil in her system. For optimal performance use Mobil 1. A synthetic oil that allows for better performance and lasts longer than traditional oil. We all know I would have preferred Mobil Alex, a Puerto Rican blend of protein and nutrients.

Too bad that wasn't available on the list of services... they'd be banking millions!

Any of Ya'll Read Tea Leaves?

with a twist of fate
and an outward confidence
we're meeting people

Juan in a Million just left the house. We spent the evening playing XBOX and watching Underworld. He's a really cute Puerto Rican from the Bronx -- Castle Hill area -- and now lives in Coral Springs. Bendito has been here for two months and it's going pretty good for him. He goes to school, has a nice job in product marketing and enjoys video games. Overall he's quality material. Last week's Chulo would have said "He's cute... but he's outta reach." Today's Chulo is saying, "Damn Chulo, why have you waited so long to meet people?"

That's a good question. Why have I waited so long to meet people? Maybe it's the lack of confidence that I have from time to time... (Ask Azteca... He saw it in the club a few days ago...) or it could have been my utter lack of motivation to get out of the house... Regardless of the true reason, I think that this might be good for me. Rather than fighting the desire for friendship, find companions in the area -- even if they might live like 45 minutes away. In reality, what is 45 minutes? All I have that's close to me is Haitians and scary old Crackers. Well worth the drive...

What do I want to ultimately achieve from these people that I meet? I'm really not sure -- friendship... maybe more? You all remember our relationship with Principio. I'm really not sure if I'm ready for another committed thing, but something would be nice. I spend the day alone in my house or working at the block so I really do need something more in my life. I've become not really desperate, but more willing to seek alternative methods to meeting people. Could you imagine me taking out an ad in the newspaper?

It would probably look like this...

CHULO SEEKS CHULO
single, attractive chulo
seeks other single, attractive
chulo for long passionate
nights, romantic moments,
sharing and cuddling. plz
be under 30 but mentally
stable. hispanic a preference
but ya'll italians and light
skinned negroes welcome.
i'm 23, 5'9ish, 150#. i got
my financials in order and
have a college degree. no
bottoms or crack whores.

I wonder if I'd find anyone who wasn't like the rest of these homos. Is it really too much to ask for? Someone who you can't tell is homo from the get, local, gets down all kinds of ways and isn't a nut case? You meet so many people in your lifetime, yet there's like a minute percentage who turn out to be real and worth while. I just don't understand why it's so hard to find a genuine person who can love chulo for chulo and not be states away.

Shit, even Miami is a state away. I have to drive the length of Rhode Island to get there!

New Antibiotics or Gold in a Tablet?

oval, small and white
destroying my parasite
take two pills daily



Chulo will be back to his healthy self in no time at all... San Lazaro knows the way...

A Story of a Monster...

you insist on it
yet i am an open book
more hypocrisy?

So there's this kid I know. He's always talking about "bochinche this; faggot that", and about how he can't stand how homos all know each other. Well guess what, he is exactly that which he hates. From the get I've been honest with him because that's what I do, I tell people how things are -- or atleast how I perceive things to be, and he has been progressively lying and fishing for information to use at a later date.

(All names have been changed to protect the homos...)
Let's call this person Loch. Now Loch caused a bit of drama at the beginning of our relationship, but because I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and not prejudge him I let it slide and took his word for things. My mistake? Maybe, but you learn from your mistakes. Come to find out Loch knows a lot of the people that I know and with each person there's a different aspect of Loch that is portrayed. I was really feeling this kid from the beginning because he seemed mad chill and down to earth. We shared a lot of interests and opinions on things but every once in a while he would flake out on me. Either I don't want to talk to him because I never called him back or he thinks I'm mad at him for some odd reason. Whatever the case may be, he's always finding an excuse to push me away -- but was I ever close to begin with?

Now to make things more complicated, Loch has started talking to Chichen Itza. Chichen Itza and I are mad close and we discuss all kinds of topics from bochinche to shoes to electronic gadgets. Loch is no exception. We find it entertaining that the stories he tells the both of us are terribly different. I mean not that I'm losing sleep over it anyways because I don't know if he was ever genuinely interested in me to begin with. So he tells Chichen Itza that he's seeing this boy, Azul. Now Azul and I had a very interesting relationship. I considered him a friend and we had some bangin sex. I won't lie, nigga had a perfect dick. He was alittle kunt but he was a homothug, and everyone loves a homo thug.

I started talking to Azul's ex, Sunshine. I was honest with Sunshine and told him about Azul. They had a falling out. We had an interesting relationship... if you ask Loch we're still dating, but I haven't gotten the memo.... and we're still really good friends. But there was drama and haters who wanted to see us fail.

Loch has heard about the relationship I had with Azul, but he denies it to no end. Now he's all confused about what to believe. Here's where "Words of Truth... by Chulo" comes in... If he's going to lie about that, what else will he lie about? Just think about that as you're taking that dick like a champ, cuz you know you ain't gonna fuck him. Maybe you are. Sunshine said he was quite the bottom at a time. It's OK, one day you'll realize one day that the people who were originally seeking to be your friend on the real you passed over for stupid faggots who lie and you'll be alone. But that was your choice.

You made your bed, now sleep in it.

DJ Chu... Comin' to a Borough Near You!

sweet antiquity
timeless as the shining sun
analog beauty

"Don't look at the turntable as just this mechanism that you play records on. Apply yourself to it as if it were an instrument, and you can express yourself through the turntable."
-- Rob Swift

It Happened One Morning...

towering above
capitalism at work
today, a shadow



We will always remember...

I've Sprung a Leak

building up inside
without a means to escape
it burst thru the dam

It was this evening that I finally understood what a water balloon goes thru in life. As I was rummaging thru the garage for a book that, in keeping true to the collage aesthetic I had made using various elements collected from random and disconnected pieces, i was taken aback by a freak biological incident that had me confused for the better part of 3 hours. What exactly happened I'm not quite sure, but here's what I do remember.

I was moving boxes back to where they belonged because I was disgusted that I couldn't find what it was that I was looking for. I was on my last box when all of a sudden I was wet. I stopped and looked around for the cup of liquid I had spilt, but alas, there was none. All I knew was my pants were soaked, my shirt was soaked and I was standing in a small puddle.

No children, the roof was not leaking -- rather it was my arm. You all remember that vagina sized hole inside my arm pit? Well it was sewn up after a second cyst became infected and subsequently removed. Inside the empty pocket that was left to heal formed, what those in the medical profession call, a seroma.

I have got to tell you, never in my life have I had so many strange things happen to me in the course of a year.

So everyday this thing fills up with this fluidic substance and causes my arm to swell up and become tender until either a) I lift something heavy and explode all over myself and the floor or b) I do something to milk the liquid out of it ahead of time. Seromas are common after surgery and typically go away after a few weeks but could stick around for as long as months upon months. Either way, I'm glad that my stitches did not seal completely, otherwise I would have had to have been drained by a really big needle and syringe instead of my combo explosion/milking technique. As I write this, I have a small piece of gauze jammed into the hole functioning as a drainage plug until the morning when I'm due to leak again...

Tan Cuidado... Piso Mojado...

Amando's Day..

add one more candle
turn them on and sing the song
don't forget your wish

I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice.
Shadows of a man,
A face through a window cryin’ in the night,
The night goes into

Morning just another day;
Happy people pass my way.
Looking in their eyes,
I see a memory I never realized
How happy you made me.

Oh mandy well,
You came and you gave without taking,
But I sent you away.
Oh, mandy well,
Kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
And I need you today. oh, mandy!

I’m standing on the edge of time;
I’ve walked away when love was mine.
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing,
The tears are in my mind
And nothin’ in rhyming.

Oh mandy well,
You came and you gave without taking,
But I sent you away.
Oh, mandy well,
Kissed me and stopped me from shaking,
And I need you today. oh, mandy!

Barry Manilow - Mandy

Memories of a previous life... where's that homo Donnie McClurkin when you need him?

Credit Reporting Agencies and Why I Hate Them...

struggling so hard
i manage to pay my bills
before they come due

Today was one of the worst days of my life. Rather than waking up to find a strange boy in my bed, I awoke to find that my accounts with American Express were ruined. I have been an AMEX card holder since 1999. My first credit card was an American Express -- it was blue, awarded to me when I turned eighteen and loaded with a $14K credit line... and I haven't even graduated high school! How I got it was beyond me (and on my own at that), but hey, I wasn't about to complain for I now had corporate sponsorship.

Today things are a bit different.

Now a college graduate, I'm barely pushing $500. When I signed onto my AMEX Online and discovered I had $200 available credit on my Blue account I had a fit for myself. You see, everyone in the house has American Express cards because of me. They are card holders under my accounts rather than I under theirs. So I went to collect the cards from everyone at four in the morning. This was before I realised what had happened. I thought they maxed out $20K, but no -- they lowered my credit line instead.

I still don't understand what happened, I only know the bits of information I learned from customer service reps and the credit agency. Come to find out, American Express conducted a review of my credit and Equifax told them that I had seriously delinquent accounts, too many accounts with balances and insufficient repayment history since delinquency. Taking Equifax's word as the Gospel, American Express took the following actions...

• Suspended Flexible Payment Option
  
• Suspended Sign & Travel

• Suspended Flexible Payment Option
  
• Suspended Sign & Travel

• Reduced My Line of Credit from $20,000 to $500

• Reduced My Line of Credit from $20,000 to $15,800

With this revelation, I clicked my way to the Equifax website to get a current copy of my credit report. After jumping thru some hoops I managed to print it out... all forty pages of it. What did I learn from my credit report? Well I have a bunch of credit cards I never use and should probably close. The closest thing I've come to "Serious Delinquency" is two late payments last year after I graduated college, and they weren't even seriously delinquent, they were just late. The accounts with high balances are my student loans. I have no negative account history. I have no accounts past due. I have no bankruptcy history, and I have no collection agencies after me. With this information in hand, I proceeded to call back American Express. The man on the phone told me that I would have to call tomorrow because the department I needed was closed. A nervous wreck, I reluctantly went to bed.

The next day I called Equifax. The first woman I spoke to told me that on one account I made two late payments. I knew this. So I asked her... "Do you people consider two late payments "seriously delinquent?". She told me some bull shit about the credit card company making those decisions. I told her that I spoke to them and they told me that it was Equifax that told American Express I was seriously delinquent, so I pressed on. I asked, "Does my credit report look bad to you?? I made two late payments out of how many accounts?". She told me she couldn't answer that. I got angry and now wanted to know why it was that these people can tell American Express what ever the fuck it is they want but when the consumer calls back looking for answers they can't give them to me. She blabbed some shit that she couldn't answer that, and I demanded to know if there was someone there who could. She placed me on hold and returned to tell me there was not. She claims it's against the law for anyone there to comment on my credit report. Spineless bastards.

I called American Express Back. I told them what I found out from the credit agency. They told me I would have to send them a letter explaining my situation and copies of relevant information that supported my case. I told them I would fax it to them when I got home because I was at work at the time.

It was then that I found the section telling me that there was negative on my credit report and called Equifax back. This time I spoke to an import. I explained to him my problem and I asked him what was wrong with my credit report. Again he came back with two late payments. I explained to him that I was aware that I was late, however I was not seriously delinquent. He asked if I wanted an investigation into the problem. You bet your oriental ass mother fucker! Shit man, what is this, do they hire from the college drop-out pool? I then asked him, since my credit report indicated nothing negative on it, where do they get off telling American Express these things about me. I wanted to know where the corporate responsibility to the consumer was. He didn't understand, so I changed my question, "How can avoid you people in the future? How can I take my name out of your database??". He told me I couldn't and that upset me again, and I replied, "There must be a way to stop any future dealings with you people. You have a ridiculous power over people's lives that you wield like a child that's just found his father's gun. You take no responsibility for ruining people's lives." Again, he didn't understand. With that, I told him to do the damn investigation and I'd call back another day when I am in the mood to be irritated by stupid people yet again.

I am still not sure what is going on with this situation. Clearly I'm being punished for giving my family access to accounts under my name and for taking out loans so that I could go to school. Does American Express not give a damn that for six years I have never missed a payment and that I have been a faithful customer of theirs paying absurd fees so that I can benefit from the perks of the Gold and Platinum American Express cards? Shit, if I was some white trash, bill collecting, incestful, redneck asshole, do they honestly think I'm going to pay them to have their charge cards? The answer to that is a resounding no. Those trailer trash sons of bitches don't even want to pay late fees -- never mind an annual fee.

I will reclaim my good standing with American Express... Equifax, you've fucked with the wrong Chulo!