Auditions

you wear your best clothes
you meet up and kick some game
ya'll mess then he bounce

In a desire to reach out and make friends in this god awful state, my study of faggoticus floridius continues. Unfortunately it has continued with limited success. If the ultimate goal was just to find a random hookup then the study would have been an overwhelming success, however a friendship of sorts is the ultimate goal, the hookup is jus a bonus. Using that horrible website to draw applicants for potential friends, we identified three potentials. Each candidate was sent thru rigorous tests to establish motives, character, mental capacity and over-all "good guy-ness". After they were selected and evaluated, we developed enough confidence to meet them.

• Homolicious localas was the first candidate. He lived close by which made leaving my circle easier for me, since I'm really not used to it. He was a professional and seemed to be very well rounded. He has his own home and a great job. I spoke to him on the phone and he seemed eager to chill and hang out. He was a dog person and liked to shill at home -- a homebody. I made it to his home and he invited me inside. His dog, a Jack Russell took immediate liking to me -- it was as if it was her that I came to see. He and I sat on the couch and watched reruns of a syndicated comedy series on a superstation. We began talking about our lives. He spoke a lot about what he didn't like in guys and what he was looking for in an ideal person to be with. I told him that I believed in a lot of the same qualities and could understand where he was coming from -- it was the truth. He then continued recounting the story of his ex boyfriend of like four years who turned out to be a deadbeat. After his story and my feedback he realised that it was getting late and he had work in the morning and he, in a round about, but pleasant way threw me out. Before I was out the door tho he offered me something to drink.
  
  Since I left I have not heard from him at all. Not at all surprising because I don't think he liked me from the get. I wasn't hurt by the lack of followup because in all honesty, I wasn't feeling him that much either. He wanted too much from people and wasn't willing to give enough of himself. So we can call that one a draw, not really a failure, but clearly not a success
  
  
• Homolicious puertoricanus was the second candidate. He demonstrated a fun and upbeat attitude and seemed very down to earth. He was attractive and we shared similar interests. Overall he seemed like he would be a great person to have around. I don't invite many people to my house because I live with my family, however I felt that I could take him home and not have to worry about the house burning down. As we chilled at my place we kicked back doing regular hang out things like video games and movies. Granted for some odd reason The Mother Unit was awake and she was interjecting herself into our time together, and it might have made him slightly uncomfortable, she eventually went to sleep. We hooked up. Afterwards we spent a half hour cuddling and he had to get home because he had to work the next day. I thought the evening was a success, not because we hooked up, but because we seemed to click really well.
  
  The next few days I had tried to make contact thru various mediums with limited success. As I hate to admit failure early on, it would appear to be painfully obvious to me that I did not succeed in my quest.
  
  
• Homolicious dominicanus was the final candidate. This candidate exhibited an outgoing and confident personality, much like my own. He was older, but within the +/- 5 year limit I have restricted myself to. He lived far away. We spoke for some time before I decided that at 3 in the morning I would go to his place and sleep over. There was no pressure for a hookup, jus a sleepover. In my head I found it odd, but he really reminded me of myself by the things he said to me and his attitude so I felt comfortable with him and staying at his place for an evening. Once I got there we got into the bed as if it would be a sleep over. I'm kinda fresh sometimes, and I told him this from the get and the hands wandered. They found him hard as a rock. Go figure. Hard to image with Chulo sleeping next to you. We ended up hooking up. Nothing major, jus some innocent play. After we got our nut off we both went to sleep. Again, I thought it went well. I woke up in the morning, and kissed him good bye. I left his place feeling really good about him -- that I would see him again.
  
  As the days went on however, clearly he was not under the same impression. Days went by with no communication from him, and I finally built up enough balls to ask if I had done something wrong. He replied that he didn't want to hook up, and we did. An obvious failure in attaining our goal. This time it hurt tho because I thought that we really had a connection. Not even because of the hookup but because of what seemed as genuine conversation -- conversation that for most would be hard to fake.

I don't know about you Reader, but I find that my friends are the best people to hook up with. They're never going to bail on you and you know if they end up not calling you for a minute that either something is wrong or they've just been busy. These people in Florida are demonstrating different behavior -- they make as if they're interested in more, and that the hookup really wouldn't be that big of a deal. That they're mentally capable of handling the hookup without flaking out on you. The evidence of our two subjects is clearly to the contrary.

This has done nothing to help us in our quest to become one with our environment and has instead pushed us further from life in Florida and closer to home. It has also made us more jaded about homos in general. You open up a little bit, share yourself both mentally and physically. You feel a connection, but then all of it is nothing but a sophisticated charade. It's fine tho because Karma is all around and it will eventually get back to them. I might hurt now, but i'll be fine because I know I'm better than that -- one day they'll feel what they put others thru and realise that they're no better than the people they sought to avoid the whole time.

Also, as we have examples with hookups and no hookups, it's clear that sexual acts cannot be the defining flaw in each test case. Rather it lies in the individual. In each case they got what they wanted from me, be it sexually related, a need for companionship or someone to talk to. Once they were done, they tossed Chulo to the side. I'm not down for that. I mean if you were genuinely looking for a friend, then no prob -- that's part of being a friend. But this was purely one sided and left me feeling like shit. I miss New York.

This is like auditioning for a movie roll... and not getting it... no callbacks...