Damn, Can I Check Your Oil?

oily, greasy mess
damn i want to strip you down
and check your fluid

So this just goes to show that you can't send me anywhere without me getting a hard on. Today, my father is like, "Chulo, your car needs an oil change. Go make yourself useful." So the obedient one that I'm NOT was like, yeah aiite. After thirty minutes of dicking around the house, listening to Aventura, I was like, he's right, the car does need an oil change. So with the AMEX that does work in hand, I headed to the car and drove to the Mobil Pit Stop whatever the fuck. It was when I exited the vehicle that i saw him.

Imagine this, a beautifully tanned puerto rican with black hair and the whole square cut sideburns/gotee thing. Now add a navy jumpsuit with Mobil on it. Make him sweating like a pig, with rough dirty hands. Cover him with oil and grease. Finally include brown, piercing eyes and a bangin smile.

I was like, "Yes, I'll suck your dick right now. Do you charge extra for bodywork?"

Of course he can't get down, or if he does get down it would be too easy to let Chulo know he was interested. That's just my luck tho. But shit! He was fuckin bangin!! I was there for like an hour and a half waiting patiently as he worked on my car, secretly wishing he was working on me instead. He came out to me like three times to ask me questions about what I wanted done, but I was pretty much oblivious to all things that didn't include looking at him or the true reason for my visit -- the oil change.

On a real note tho, I have a Z28 Camaro. She's blue. We go fast. So it's important to keep good oil in her system. For optimal performance use Mobil 1. A synthetic oil that allows for better performance and lasts longer than traditional oil. We all know I would have preferred Mobil Alex, a Puerto Rican blend of protein and nutrients.

Too bad that wasn't available on the list of services... they'd be banking millions!