And Now, a Heartfelt Letter...

ever so daunting
this task should come easily
yet has taken days

Good Morning Mrs. Peña,

I received your email address from Andrelaso, the boy that lives upstairs. My name is Chulo, and I have been serving in the role as "house guest." Let me first begin by thanking you for letting me stay as long as I already have, without your generous hospitality I do not think that I would have been able to accomplish as much as I have in the few months that I have been here. I know your son Julio, we speak frequently, and he suggested that I send you an email explaining who I am and where I see myself going.

I arrived at the end of July to begin prepping for the LSAT. The class that I took is the same class that Montez took while he was prepping for the LSAT. My family lives in Florida at the moment, and the class is only offered here in New York. I spoke to Andrelaso and Montez about my desire to go to law school, and Montez told me about the class and how it helped him. I went to Ithaca College and graduated with a BS in Television & Radio. After I graduated, I went to la Republica Dominicana to further my study abroad. While I was there, my family moved from Rhode Island to Florida, and left me in a state of transition that has lasted about two years.

When I got to Florida, I picked up with the same job that I had in Rhode Island -- working at The Little Haiti Video Store. When I came to study up here, I needed a source of income, and as my job was national, I was able to transfer to a location in Brooklyn. I have been working on Court Street and honestly, my job in Florida compared to my job here have been two remarkably different experiences. The former being a good environment to work in while the one I've found here to be one of aggression and stress.

As some times I am required to work late, I get in at strange hours, especially trying to get home with the train. We all know how (un)reliable the N and the R line runs. Montez had mentioned that emails were sent regarding the noise levels while you sleep. I apologise for any inconvenience that I have caused you -- I have tried to be quiet coming home from work and have also attempted to minimise any noise that I may have made while coming into the house. I did not realise that your room was opposite the double doors at the foot of the staircase. I know from living in Florida with my parent's room on the first floor next to the front door that it's in my best interests to make as little noise as possible.

With that, I have no desire to return to Florida, especially since I never wanted to go there in the first place. I have a roommate and have been actively searching for an apartment of my own. I have given the Blockbuster my two weeks notice and have found a better job at the Macy's in Herold Square working as the Specialist for The North Face in the Men's sports division of the store.

My session of the prep course has ended, and I can take the class again for no fee. I honestly do not feel that I have prepared enough for the test, and would like to excercise the option to retake the course. With that said, it would require more time here in New York. I do not want to be a burden on you or your family -- that was never my intention. I am not looking to stay here for another thee months, because I know that with time, my searching will pay off, and I will have an apartment that is outside of both your house and that of my parents.

Please grant me permission to stay for a few more weeks until I am able to find a place of my own to live. I do not think that I will be much of a distraction in the future, as my new job closes at 9 pm instead of midnight. In the event that you do let me stay, keep in mind I would be willing to compensate you in whatever manner you see fit. I come from a good home, and if you would like to speak to my mother about any of this I could get you my number in Florida.

I hope that this email finds you well, and I am eagerly awaiting your reply.

Thanks,
Chulo

chu • lo: noun, a boy that everyone's mom would love to keep as their own...

And Now, a Scornful Letter...

place of employment
i have had enough of you
time to pack my shit

Dear Slave-Driving Task-Master,

I must take my leave of you, because you have sucked the ever-loving life from my limp body. I hope that with my removal from this wretched place I might actually be able to bring some happiness back into my life.

I have found that since working here at The Little Haiti Video Store in New York, more and more shit has been dumped onto my shoulders. How is it, that with more responsibilities, you pay me less money than the store in Florida?

Time for me to bounce ya'll, and tell the district manager to suck my balls.

Peace and Happiness,
Dr. Chulo Rodriguez

note: The actual letter of resignation was sent, however it was a hell of a lot more professional than this one you see here that I would have liked to send...