much like the circus
without animal abuse
the nation's in town
Take the purest color in the world (white) and then add a group of people who are the exact antithesis to that concept of purity (The Nation of Chulo). Now add a random assortment of co-workers from the house of Montez and multifarious special guests like James Earl Hardy, author of B-Boy Blues and a sexy girl dressed as a bunny. Introduce alcoholic vehicles such as Aguardiente and jell-o shots made with 85% Smirnoff/15% H20 and some chicken wings.
If you were to follow those instructions referenced above you would end up with the 28th Version of the T-Montez Birthday Party with a Nation of Chulo twist.
The night started out slow. Andrelaso's friend Captain Obvious arrived hours ahead of everyone else, but that was expected as he told us he was coming early. In tow he had an ominous backpack that instantly caught my attention in one hand and in the other a bottle which quickly distracted me from the ominous backpack. We continued to cook food and make the playlist for the music for the evening. The music was chosen by yours truly and vetted by the birthday boy himself. While some of the guests whined most of them were equally as content with the music as Montez and I. If they didn't like it, there was more than enuf to drink until they finally did.
Per Montez's edict, each guest to the White Party was required to take a shot of Jose Cuervo before being admitted to the fiesta above. I was good at administering this, granted for half of the guests I was half naked as I was in the process of getting into the shower, and I'll admit, that is not a quick task.
Once I was clean, the food was done, the music was bumpin' and the guests had arrived, the party began.
In the kitchen was Andrelaso and Captain Obvious, the Nation of Chulo gathered by Andrelaso's bed, T-Montez et. al. was in his room and an assorted mix of non-homos littered the space in between the bedrooms, loitering around the food. In addition to James Earl Hardy and the Sexy Bunny, we had another special guest... The Boy Who Lives in the Basement. (A quick aside, The Boy Who Lives in the Basement is the landlord's son, who also happens to be a pato, living inside one of the biggest homo strongholds in all of Sunset Park...) I was instantly drawn to him... another homo in the house to laugh at the world around me with... If the landlord turns out to be a lesbian we might as well paint the outside of the house pink!
90.. 88.. 56.. 33.. 19.. 1.. 0. The jell-o shots were gone and the party was still not over. I believe it was Montez who looked at me the night before and asked me what kind of college event we were throwing. Turns out the jiggly shits were the second biggest hit (tied with my yucca) right behind the fried chicken wings... but I also think that they're half of the reason why I can't seem to remember the ending third of the night as clearly as the first two thirds...
What I've pieced together goes something like this...
I. Escaflowne finds Principio, my first bf...
A. Something Precipitates
1. They're making out on Andrelaso's bed while I'm passed out piss drunk
a. That's expected, it's the Nation of Chulo, last party was much more scandalous
b. I was awake for the last party
B. OK... The outline thing isn't working anymore...
So after they make out, Escaflowne was like I don't want to go home and Andrelaso was like well there's really not room to stay. That was expected as Principio was kinda scurred because Escaflowne came on a little strong and there wasn't any place to stay since the sleeping spaces were claimed before hand. It went something like this...
Kitchen: No Sleeping Space Available
Andrelaso's Room: A Bed, Space for Chulo and Andrelaso... Possibly Principio if he was unable to drive home.
Pallet on the Floor in the Middle by the Food: No Sleeping Space Available; IT'S ATTACHED TO MONTEZ'S BEDROOM!
Montez's Room: A Bed, Space for Montez and Sexy Guest
That's the plan... Too bad the plan never gets followed... Remember that ominous backpack?
I'm really not concerned with the whole Escaflowne/Principio make out thing. Word on the street is I was making out with Azteca, so I have no room to talk... Of course I found out about that days later... I need to stop drinking. =)
Enter Captain Obvious... ominous backpack in hand... heading for the bathroom. Exit Captain Obvious.
Enter Captain Obvious... in shorts and a white t shirt... staring at the bed with animalistic hunger and thirst in his eyes. Exit Chulo and Principio... banished to a plywood construction with a pillow... inches from the floor.
Enter Captain Obvious... into the space no longer reserved for Chulo because he was supposed to go home as Andrelaso had a house guest who he hadn't seen in months currently staying with him (on the floor in his roommate's room)... Exit the plan.
and now a quote...
:::knock-knock-knock::: [Chulo in a Drunken Voice] "Does anyone hear that?" *pause* :::knock-knock-knock::: "That's the sound of Chulo..." *pause* :::knock-knock-knock::: "On the floor!" :::knock-knock-knock:::
end quote.
No one heard it as the door was closed and they had no doubt switched on Jurassic Park and were unable to hear the sounds of the telltale heart beating in the boards below... Montez and Principio heard it... and they were rolling on the floor laughing... that was until I rolled Principio over.
The details are still clouded by whispers and unknown truths...
Condoms were provided, funny lines were said, Chulo played the "Nigga Please" card, Montez was mortified and intrigued at the same time, Principio was happy... and I still don't remember if I bust.
Ahh.. Nation of Chulo parties...
Stay tuned as Captain Obvious saves the day in the next exciting episode of Chulo and the City...
sábado, enero 28, 2006
jueves, enero 26, 2006
Self Preservation: A Legitimate Edict?
while bearing weapons
and parading in the street
democracy lives
What makes a group a terrorist group?
What makes terrorists terrorists?
Two very important questions to keep in mind when we look at the Hamas victory in Palestine. While asked rhetorically, I'ma venture a guess while applying those questions to Hamas.
What makes Hamas a terrorist group? Obviously that's an easy question. They sure as hell don't hide their desire to crush the state of Israel. They're armed with more guns than a Russian arms depot. But wait, they're fighting because Israel has invaded their land. So are they really a terrorist group or are they fighting for a legitimate reason? Let's look at a parallel situation.
What makes the United States a beacon of Democracy? That's an easy question. They run around the world using military force to remove their ideological opponents while taking their land and resources and killing their civilians. They've got more guns than Hamas. But wait, it's all in the name of producing "legitimate governments" and spreading democracy while eliminating terrorist world wide.
That's quite a mission -- the world wide elimination of terrorists. Why aren't we focusing on eliminating hunger on a national scale before we try to tackle the world's problem of terrorism? I'm sorry, that question is for another blog.
As I'm already bordering on treason, why not ask the question for shits and giggles. Could we be the biggest terrorists out there? (That one will remain rhetorical... )
Second question: What makes Hamas members terrorists? Really that's a silly question isn't it. If your land was invaded and taken from you, you were forced to live in slums in the desert while your oppressor is living a good life while they build a concrete fence around to keep you out (of land that was originally yours), I think you might be a little pissed off too.
You see, the problem here is Israel is sucking from the United States' titty. If we weren't sleeping together I'm sure we wouldn't really give a fuck about Hamas as a terrorist group. Hamas's battle with Israel is exactly that -- their battle. But as we're policing the world for global terror while instituting imperialistic tendencies that's a problem for us.
Did I mention that war was one of the biggest economy growers of all time?
and parading in the street
democracy lives
What makes a group a terrorist group?
What makes terrorists terrorists?
Two very important questions to keep in mind when we look at the Hamas victory in Palestine. While asked rhetorically, I'ma venture a guess while applying those questions to Hamas.
What makes Hamas a terrorist group? Obviously that's an easy question. They sure as hell don't hide their desire to crush the state of Israel. They're armed with more guns than a Russian arms depot. But wait, they're fighting because Israel has invaded their land. So are they really a terrorist group or are they fighting for a legitimate reason? Let's look at a parallel situation.
What makes the United States a beacon of Democracy? That's an easy question. They run around the world using military force to remove their ideological opponents while taking their land and resources and killing their civilians. They've got more guns than Hamas. But wait, it's all in the name of producing "legitimate governments" and spreading democracy while eliminating terrorist world wide.
That's quite a mission -- the world wide elimination of terrorists. Why aren't we focusing on eliminating hunger on a national scale before we try to tackle the world's problem of terrorism? I'm sorry, that question is for another blog.
As I'm already bordering on treason, why not ask the question for shits and giggles. Could we be the biggest terrorists out there? (That one will remain rhetorical... )
Second question: What makes Hamas members terrorists? Really that's a silly question isn't it. If your land was invaded and taken from you, you were forced to live in slums in the desert while your oppressor is living a good life while they build a concrete fence around to keep you out (of land that was originally yours), I think you might be a little pissed off too.
You see, the problem here is Israel is sucking from the United States' titty. If we weren't sleeping together I'm sure we wouldn't really give a fuck about Hamas as a terrorist group. Hamas's battle with Israel is exactly that -- their battle. But as we're policing the world for global terror while instituting imperialistic tendencies that's a problem for us.
Did I mention that war was one of the biggest economy growers of all time?
viernes, enero 20, 2006
The Homo Census
online database
tracking the homos world-wide
government invest!
It's like a mutant tracking program. One that could be used for good or evil. A system that keeps tabs on the X-Men and their civilian friends. Only in the homo universe. If the government would take over that horrible website, it could be used as an online database of homos -- almost like a Homo Census! The project would be a groundbreaking event of immeasurable magnitude.
We already have a good amount of homos enrolled, present company included, and you too reader, you know you've been there at least once. If it were government regulated we could link it to tax records and medical records to create an online dating universe that not only keeps tabs on your HIV status, but also on your financials! It weeds out the lies and the games while keeping the "browseablity" and "sex only" aspect of the original concept.
Think of the current version as a BETA test. With it's successful roll-out we can move to horrible website 2.0. In all reality, while it's true that with a centralised location of stored personal info there's potential for abuse, I think with the current state of affairs in the Homo-Nation, some regulation is needed. Times have changed since the bare-back pornos of the 70's. Now-a-days, you go raw and you might as well sign your own death certificate. I don't want to come off anti-sympathetic to those battling disease and what not, but with the level of education available today there is really no excuse.
Who am I kidding... Like the government cares if homos live or die...
tracking the homos world-wide
government invest!
It's like a mutant tracking program. One that could be used for good or evil. A system that keeps tabs on the X-Men and their civilian friends. Only in the homo universe. If the government would take over that horrible website, it could be used as an online database of homos -- almost like a Homo Census! The project would be a groundbreaking event of immeasurable magnitude.
We already have a good amount of homos enrolled, present company included, and you too reader, you know you've been there at least once. If it were government regulated we could link it to tax records and medical records to create an online dating universe that not only keeps tabs on your HIV status, but also on your financials! It weeds out the lies and the games while keeping the "browseablity" and "sex only" aspect of the original concept.
Think of the current version as a BETA test. With it's successful roll-out we can move to horrible website 2.0. In all reality, while it's true that with a centralised location of stored personal info there's potential for abuse, I think with the current state of affairs in the Homo-Nation, some regulation is needed. Times have changed since the bare-back pornos of the 70's. Now-a-days, you go raw and you might as well sign your own death certificate. I don't want to come off anti-sympathetic to those battling disease and what not, but with the level of education available today there is really no excuse.
Who am I kidding... Like the government cares if homos live or die...
martes, enero 17, 2006
The Nation of Chulo Welcomes You!
waving in the air
made of finest cotton blend
come to our island
PENGUIN NOT INCLUDED
I'm a young nation and young nation is me... So here we go from the one the two and to the three...
made of finest cotton blend
come to our island
PENGUIN NOT INCLUDED
I'm a young nation and young nation is me... So here we go from the one the two and to the three...
domingo, enero 15, 2006
Movie Teaser: Happy Feet
dancing and music
penguins shaking their asses
the snow is ablaze
Jump and move and jump and move and jump and move and stop!
penguins shaking their asses
the snow is ablaze
Jump and move and jump and move and jump and move and stop!
A Snapshot: Eulicious
on myspace today
i watched this movie on loop
damn dominicans
Digital cameras are wonderful things...
i watched this movie on loop
damn dominicans
Digital cameras are wonderful things...
sábado, enero 14, 2006
Fight #247
he pisses me off
with his bipolar nature
i wish he'd take pills
I'm presently locked in my room -- by choice. Today Chulo spent the day working in the Little Haiti Video Store with Jeffrey Lucas. While we had a good day together, it was still a long day of doing what some scientists might consider a brain-wasting task. You don't have to be incredibly smart to check out movies to malcontents, and obviously I can't be incredibly smart as 1)
I'm still in the state of Florida and 2) I'm still working at the video store.
Unfortunately, I feel as if I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm unable to break free from the rut and continue my growth. As Azteca pointed out last nite, "Chulo, you're broke." Of course I was confused, but as he works at the bank I deal with, he checked my accounts. That's a bit stalker-esque, but it's Azteca, so it's OK! The point is I am in no position to move out of my house, let alone out of the state. I wish more than anything that it was possible, but right now I've got to deal.
I wonder if it would solve anything. While I'd be back in the land of the living, there's no doubt in my mind that I would have a slew of other problems that I'd have to deal with on a daily basis that I'd otherwise only have to deal with bimonthly. Who knows... they say the grass is always greener on the other side... why can't I just have the beautiful monochromatic concrete jungle of Spanish Harlem or Sunset Park?
But back to why I'm locked in my room. This evening we're having a dinner party with people my mother works with, and of course as we're all drunks everyone has been drinking heavily. Unfortunately this includes my father and anyone who knows my father also knows that when he's had some to drink it's usually too much and he's usually acting a fool. This was no exception. Rather than dealing with his drunken demeanor I made the grown-up decision to remove myself from the situation. Sounds like it would be a good idea, right? Guess again. He's knocking on my door right now -- I think i'll go to sleep. Chulo -- out!
No me importa si es una partida...
with his bipolar nature
i wish he'd take pills
I'm presently locked in my room -- by choice. Today Chulo spent the day working in the Little Haiti Video Store with Jeffrey Lucas. While we had a good day together, it was still a long day of doing what some scientists might consider a brain-wasting task. You don't have to be incredibly smart to check out movies to malcontents, and obviously I can't be incredibly smart as 1)
I'm still in the state of Florida and 2) I'm still working at the video store.
Unfortunately, I feel as if I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm unable to break free from the rut and continue my growth. As Azteca pointed out last nite, "Chulo, you're broke." Of course I was confused, but as he works at the bank I deal with, he checked my accounts. That's a bit stalker-esque, but it's Azteca, so it's OK! The point is I am in no position to move out of my house, let alone out of the state. I wish more than anything that it was possible, but right now I've got to deal.
I wonder if it would solve anything. While I'd be back in the land of the living, there's no doubt in my mind that I would have a slew of other problems that I'd have to deal with on a daily basis that I'd otherwise only have to deal with bimonthly. Who knows... they say the grass is always greener on the other side... why can't I just have the beautiful monochromatic concrete jungle of Spanish Harlem or Sunset Park?
But back to why I'm locked in my room. This evening we're having a dinner party with people my mother works with, and of course as we're all drunks everyone has been drinking heavily. Unfortunately this includes my father and anyone who knows my father also knows that when he's had some to drink it's usually too much and he's usually acting a fool. This was no exception. Rather than dealing with his drunken demeanor I made the grown-up decision to remove myself from the situation. Sounds like it would be a good idea, right? Guess again. He's knocking on my door right now -- I think i'll go to sleep. Chulo -- out!
No me importa si es una partida...
viernes, enero 13, 2006
Full Moon/Friday the 13th
lighting up the sky
lots of energy to spare
brujos at their best
Eleggua throws the stone tomorrow to kill the bird yesterday...
lots of energy to spare
brujos at their best
Eleggua throws the stone tomorrow to kill the bird yesterday...
lunes, enero 09, 2006
He Was Originally a Bio Major...
they are everywhere
made by boys and girls daily
i want one damn it!
AN INTERNAL DOCUMENT FROM THE NATION OF CHULO
NOT FOR OUTSIDE DISTRIBUTION
Since the dawn of time homos have been attempting to adopt and since the dawn of time homophobes have been trying to keep the hard-working, family oriented homo pair down. With that said, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why this hypothesis has yet to be talked about.
Creating a child from the genetic information of two males.
While the resources of the Nation of Chulo are limited, this has only been researched on paper as actual materials, equipment and test subjects are very expensive.
The process is similar to artificial insemination, however instead of donor sperm (which we have in abundance), we require donor eggs and a female host to carry the fetus to term. We will also require homo (or homo friendly) geneticists and fertility specialists to carry out the procedure.
Step One... Determine Who's to be the "Mother"...
In this step we decide which of the two males is going to provide an X chromosome. Once selected, we will use microscopes to locate sperm from this male that contain an X chromosome and isolate them from the Y chromosome sperm.
Step Two... The Egg's Reprogramming...
Here we take our donated eggs and evacuate the genetic material contained within. We then take the genetic information from one of the isolated X chromosome sperms we collected in the previous step and inject it into the empty egg.
Step Three... Fertilisation...
With the newly programmed egg, we introduce the sperm from the other homo male and induce them into joining with the egg. In theory, once the sperm joins with the "egg" we can move to the next step.
Step Four... Return to Sender...
With a newly fertilised egg, we take it and deposit it into the surrogate who has been selected to carry the child to term.
Outcome...
Hopefully in 9 months, we will have a wonderful child produced from two homo males. Sex of the child will be determined from the "father" homo child as it would be in a regular pregnancy.
Of course, all of this said, outside the medical facility this is all taking place i'm sure there will be civil unrest. The nerve of these homos trying to reproduce and blah blah blah.
(c) 2006, Science Ministry, The Nation of Chulo
Homo created children are evil!! Burn them where they stand!!
made by boys and girls daily
i want one damn it!
AN INTERNAL DOCUMENT FROM THE NATION OF CHULO
NOT FOR OUTSIDE DISTRIBUTION
Since the dawn of time homos have been attempting to adopt and since the dawn of time homophobes have been trying to keep the hard-working, family oriented homo pair down. With that said, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why this hypothesis has yet to be talked about.
Creating a child from the genetic information of two males.
While the resources of the Nation of Chulo are limited, this has only been researched on paper as actual materials, equipment and test subjects are very expensive.
The process is similar to artificial insemination, however instead of donor sperm (which we have in abundance), we require donor eggs and a female host to carry the fetus to term. We will also require homo (or homo friendly) geneticists and fertility specialists to carry out the procedure.
Step One... Determine Who's to be the "Mother"...
In this step we decide which of the two males is going to provide an X chromosome. Once selected, we will use microscopes to locate sperm from this male that contain an X chromosome and isolate them from the Y chromosome sperm.
Step Two... The Egg's Reprogramming...
Here we take our donated eggs and evacuate the genetic material contained within. We then take the genetic information from one of the isolated X chromosome sperms we collected in the previous step and inject it into the empty egg.
Step Three... Fertilisation...
With the newly programmed egg, we introduce the sperm from the other homo male and induce them into joining with the egg. In theory, once the sperm joins with the "egg" we can move to the next step.
Step Four... Return to Sender...
With a newly fertilised egg, we take it and deposit it into the surrogate who has been selected to carry the child to term.
Outcome...
Hopefully in 9 months, we will have a wonderful child produced from two homo males. Sex of the child will be determined from the "father" homo child as it would be in a regular pregnancy.
Of course, all of this said, outside the medical facility this is all taking place i'm sure there will be civil unrest. The nerve of these homos trying to reproduce and blah blah blah.
(c) 2006, Science Ministry, The Nation of Chulo
Homo created children are evil!! Burn them where they stand!!
domingo, enero 08, 2006
Cum to My Flock...
speaks out against them
with a big dick in his mouth
knees on the good book
Really Officer, I tripped and fell onto his penis. Honestly, that's how it got into my mouth... I swear to God!
with a big dick in his mouth
knees on the good book
Really Officer, I tripped and fell onto his penis. Honestly, that's how it got into my mouth... I swear to God!
jueves, enero 05, 2006
And Now... A Brief Ecko Moment...
if i could buy this
online at ecko.com
i would die happy
I wonder if he comes in large...
online at ecko.com
i would die happy
I wonder if he comes in large...
Chomp, Chomp, Chomp...
because you at work
i feel the need to tempt you
with another game
Damn Chulo, you bring it back!!
I know, I know...
i feel the need to tempt you
with another game
Damn Chulo, you bring it back!!
I know, I know...
lunes, enero 02, 2006
The Last Straw...
i work very hard
but these people insist on
taking what i sell
Tonite was very upsetting for me folks. These things never happened to me in Rhode Island, and while I'm sure people shoplift there, it could never -- not even slightly -- compare to the people who steal from... The Little Haiti Video Store. In addition to being the leader of the free Nation of Chulo, I am also the Assistant Manager of The Little Haiti Video Store located in sunny West Palm Beach. While it's my high school job and I am not currently using my degree in Television & Radio, my Mickey Mouse job pays my student loan and provides health care -- in addition to flexible paid time off.
The problem isn't even the video store, but rather the people who rent there. I like about five percent of the people that come into the store in a given night. The remaining ninety-five percent are a vile mixture of white trash, rednecks, obnoxious black people, haitians and people who come with children (most in this group also fall into one of the previous.) In fear of upsetting The Scientist from the North, I'll try to keep my generalizations to a minimum.
I don't know what Haiti is like, I mean real Haiti, not West Palm Beach. After watching the Haitians (who have arrived to America recently) that come into the Little Haiti Video Store, I've come up with a pretty good idea... In real Haiti, the government is non-existant. We know this because the citizens have a blatant disregard for the law. They come into the video store and steal the new DVDs, they let their ill-mannered children eat candy they do not intend to pay for while throwing the wrappers to the floor and they fail to take responsibility for their actions when they're clearly wrong. Also, I imagine that they do not have working plumbing. They let their children piss in the video store on the floor like an animal that's yet to be house broken, and also they wipe their children's shit-covered ass and then throw it away. Finally, all of the people who live there must be deaf as evidenced by their ability to ignore their seven screaming children who are running around the store touching everything and screaming as if they were being stabbed in the chest.
Perhaps I've just met the wrong Haitians... Perhaps not.
And you know I don't like to write about my job -- this is probably if not one of the first, THE first post about that god-awful hole. I find that complaining about it does not really change anything, but rather makes me look like a whining bitch. Today however -- today I don't care.
As I was putting the returns away, Haitian Female Number One (HF1 or "Deaf Diesel Bitch") exited the store, only to come back in to open the "In" door and let out Haitian Female Number Two (HF2 or "Fatty") who was in possession over fifteen brand new DVDs. Looking on and unable to see well from a distance, I came around to make sure I had actually seen what I thought. When I went outside, Deaf Diesel Bitch and Fatty were walking -- AS IF THEY WERE PAYING CUSTOMERS -- casually to their gold Impala with temporary plates. I shouted at them, in hopes I was wrong and they really had nothing, but of course they did not hear me as they must have been deaf. They unlocked the car with the alarm remote and Fatty got into the car tossing the product to the floor. Yes, they were indeed thieves. Deaf Diesel Bitch turned on the car and sped off towards the exit. She swerved around a car that had stopped at a red light and used the other lane to pass that stopped car into oncoming traffic to mount her escape. I wish more than anything that a large truck was coming from the other direction and smashed that gold piece of shit to bits in the road only to have the two bitches emerge bloody and broken, gripping for whatever life was left in them...
But I digress...
As they were driving away I called the police. Do you think they did anything? Of course they didn't -- they're doing better things like ticketing people for switching lanes without a turn signal. What needs to happen for the police to come? Do I need to have someone dead or almost dead for any type of worthwhile response?
Waste of tax dollars if you ask me...
but these people insist on
taking what i sell
Tonite was very upsetting for me folks. These things never happened to me in Rhode Island, and while I'm sure people shoplift there, it could never -- not even slightly -- compare to the people who steal from... The Little Haiti Video Store. In addition to being the leader of the free Nation of Chulo, I am also the Assistant Manager of The Little Haiti Video Store located in sunny West Palm Beach. While it's my high school job and I am not currently using my degree in Television & Radio, my Mickey Mouse job pays my student loan and provides health care -- in addition to flexible paid time off.
The problem isn't even the video store, but rather the people who rent there. I like about five percent of the people that come into the store in a given night. The remaining ninety-five percent are a vile mixture of white trash, rednecks, obnoxious black people, haitians and people who come with children (most in this group also fall into one of the previous.) In fear of upsetting The Scientist from the North, I'll try to keep my generalizations to a minimum.
I don't know what Haiti is like, I mean real Haiti, not West Palm Beach. After watching the Haitians (who have arrived to America recently) that come into the Little Haiti Video Store, I've come up with a pretty good idea... In real Haiti, the government is non-existant. We know this because the citizens have a blatant disregard for the law. They come into the video store and steal the new DVDs, they let their ill-mannered children eat candy they do not intend to pay for while throwing the wrappers to the floor and they fail to take responsibility for their actions when they're clearly wrong. Also, I imagine that they do not have working plumbing. They let their children piss in the video store on the floor like an animal that's yet to be house broken, and also they wipe their children's shit-covered ass and then throw it away. Finally, all of the people who live there must be deaf as evidenced by their ability to ignore their seven screaming children who are running around the store touching everything and screaming as if they were being stabbed in the chest.
Perhaps I've just met the wrong Haitians... Perhaps not.
And you know I don't like to write about my job -- this is probably if not one of the first, THE first post about that god-awful hole. I find that complaining about it does not really change anything, but rather makes me look like a whining bitch. Today however -- today I don't care.
As I was putting the returns away, Haitian Female Number One (HF1 or "Deaf Diesel Bitch") exited the store, only to come back in to open the "In" door and let out Haitian Female Number Two (HF2 or "Fatty") who was in possession over fifteen brand new DVDs. Looking on and unable to see well from a distance, I came around to make sure I had actually seen what I thought. When I went outside, Deaf Diesel Bitch and Fatty were walking -- AS IF THEY WERE PAYING CUSTOMERS -- casually to their gold Impala with temporary plates. I shouted at them, in hopes I was wrong and they really had nothing, but of course they did not hear me as they must have been deaf. They unlocked the car with the alarm remote and Fatty got into the car tossing the product to the floor. Yes, they were indeed thieves. Deaf Diesel Bitch turned on the car and sped off towards the exit. She swerved around a car that had stopped at a red light and used the other lane to pass that stopped car into oncoming traffic to mount her escape. I wish more than anything that a large truck was coming from the other direction and smashed that gold piece of shit to bits in the road only to have the two bitches emerge bloody and broken, gripping for whatever life was left in them...
But I digress...
As they were driving away I called the police. Do you think they did anything? Of course they didn't -- they're doing better things like ticketing people for switching lanes without a turn signal. What needs to happen for the police to come? Do I need to have someone dead or almost dead for any type of worthwhile response?
Waste of tax dollars if you ask me...
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