BRA:GHA (3:0)

today we sat home
watching brasilians kick game
and watch ghana lose

Ronaldo, #9

GOL!

Adriano, #7

GOL!

Zé Roberto, #11

GOL!

Joga Bonito!

Eu Estou Jogando Belamente!

something has happened
fútbol alive in my soul
i still hate soccer



For those of you unaware, this year I discovered the World Cup, or on Univision, La Copa Mundial de la FIFA. (Yes, I've been watching Univision again, I tried to stop, but World Cup coverage and Boxeo have become debilitating diseases of the mind.) More surprising than my discovery of the World Cup is the history that "Soccer" has had in my life and how I began to loathe it.

Allow me to take it back a few years.

Chulo, Age 6: Play soccer. Go to soccer banquets. Run, run, run. Sit down in the field disgusted because you're heart isn't in the game.

Chulo, Age 7: See above.

Chulo, Age 14: Move to another town. A town that has no football team. A town filled with Republicans. A town filled with Republicans and their spoiled children. A town filled with Republicans and their spoiled children that worship soccer because there is no football team.

Chulo, Age 18: Graduate from said High School and disliking most of the soccer players for being assholes. Assholes that left me with a bad taste for the sport.

End of Slide Show.

Now that we're all caught up, you're wondering what's different. The answer is this - Brasilians. If you've watched the World Cup, no doubt you've seen one of Nike's spots featuring the French guy with the subtitles and the Brasilian National Club Team. Ronaldo, Adriano, Ronaldinho, et. al. They are shown playing Fútbol, a sport that involves passion, fun and determination. The hook, "Joga Bonito", Portuguese for "Play Beautifully. Watching sweating Brasilians run across the field, hug each other and then strip is beautiful play indeed folks. What was I thinking.

With this revelation, we have embraced Fútbol and slowly have started relearning things long forgotten and blocked out of memory. We have purchased Fútbol merchandise, almost in excess of three hundred bucks. When have I ever fucked around when it comes to quality merch. tho? (Our limited edition Nikes are on their way...)

I realise that sport has more to it than sweating guys running around to hug each other and strip later, but there's something more to it that I have yet to catch on to. I finally realise what I am going to use my coke rewards for, a FIFA ball. We've been watching the sport almost religiously, and there's something to it that I'm attracted to, something more than brown, uncut penis. Today, there are two matches, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. In our first match, Brasil will play Ghana, the team that beat the United States. (Like they had a chance anyways, I think they were invited just because they're the United States...) There should be a good show, I hope I'm up to watch it. In our second match, Spain will play against France. This is going to be even better than the first match for one important reason -- the Spanish have brought some fierce game during this year's World Cup, and if they defeat the French after Brasil hands Ghana their asses, like I expect them to, Brasil will face off against Spain.

That will be an incredible match. BRA : ESP, Sunday, 01 Julio 06. Catch it on ESPN or Univision. I have the day off!

You've probably noticed that I have drawn a distinction between soccer and Fútbol. While intrinsically they're the same game, soccer has a negative connotation based on previous history with said sport. Fútbol is something wonderful and new. It's like going to a new church. You've got wonderful things that you never had before at your old church and it's empowering. (Note: I no longer go to church, it was just an example.) Still, the point remains that this is something to look into, make friends who play Fútbol and get into the game. We'll go from overweight to tone and muscled in no time while rebuilding strength in the fucked up leg! Did I mention that the uniforms are mad cute?

Samba music makes everything so much better...

A Strange Coincidence?

timing perfected
a dominican sends us
something peculiar

OK, so help me thru this, I'm struggling. I arrived in New York on Thursday, 8 Junio. That evening I went to The Little School House with Principio, and we ran into My Size Dominican and The King of Spain. Our rendezvous was complete coincidence. After the club, My Size Dominican and Principio exchange numbers and talk all week long. I was slated to depart the city on Wednesday evening, however we all know I didn't actually leave until Thursday evening. Here's where it gets strange.

While I was being a jealous bitch the entire week and had strongly vocalised my feelings regarding the potential My Size Dominican/Principio interaction (MSD/Pi), I received a message on that horrible website. That message came in on the Tuesday of the week I left. It was from an as yet identified Dominican. After I had flipped balls hearing about MSD/Pi, this next part comes as a completely strange event that leads me to read into it.

Yesterday I received two more messages from the same Dominican, but this time he gives me his email address and tells me to check out his mySpace page. Up until that point I really had no indication of who I was actually talking to online. Bear in mind that we exchanged about three messages in total, so it's not that big of an issue, but it put me in a strange position. I look at the email address and something in my head clicked. It was this firing of neural synapses that caused me to rush to mySpace to confirm or deny my initial thoughts. Upon arrival, my suspicions were confirmed -- it is My Size Dominican's Ex, The Dominican M.

What are the chances that My Size Dominican's conversations with Principio, could lead to me potentially talking to The Dominican M? I now found myself in a quandary. I was in the same position as the other two. What do I do? I did the only thing possible, I took the road that the other two did not. I wrote back to The Dominican M that while I'm sure he has good intentions, unfortunately due to the way our social circles overlap I did not think it was a good idea to pursue anything further. I wished him well, and said peace out.

I find this troubling. Not that I didn't give him a chance, he had been my nemesis for some time, so it was only natural, but that I was in the same situation as they were not but two weeks before. Granted they are broken up, and I no longer feel threatened by The Dominican M, the fact still remains that these relationships are not good karma. Before I knew who it was, there could have been some kind of conversation, however now that I am aware, I feel that if I were to continue any further, I would indeed become one of the things I loathe -- a hypocrite.

I have not received a response from The Dominican M, nor do I know if my message has been read. How do I find myself -- no -- How do these situations find their way to my door? Only shells know what's in store, and fortunately for me, I don't have anyone to tell me what they are saying.

Now that's what I call a sticky situation...

The Shells Drop & I Run Like Hell...

after the reading
things were too close for comfort
off to the doctor

Well folks, I failed to share something that came out of my reading. The shells told me that I should go and see my doctor right away for a thorough physical. Eleggua suggested that there might be something wrong with me that I was unaware of. As the reading was too close for comfort to begin with, I wasn't about to fuck around.

When I got back to Brooklyn, I called the doctor's office. Of course it was closed, but they have a machine, so I decided to leave a message:

Hi, this is Chulo Rodriguez, I'm a patient of Jose's. I had a reading last night and Eleggua told me I might have something wrong with me. I need to make an appointment to have a physical and blood work immediately. I'm one of his original patients, so don't play games with me.

I left them my phone number and expected someone to call me back. I'm sure you're aware of what happened next.

Exactly -- nothing happened.

So the other day, nearly a week later, I call back. I told her I called and never received a call back. She told me she checked the machine and I must have left it in the wrong mailbox. (There was only one...) So again, I explain to her that shells told me to go to the doctor, and while she's clearly confused, she makes an appointment for me any way.

That brings us to today children.

I roll into the doctor's office at 10:30. I sign in. They take my temperature, blood oxygen level and I weigh in at around 143... clearly I am underweight, however once I begin to produce muscle that should change. Don't worry, it's on the to-do list; Item number one hundred and twenty three, convert fat and water into muscle. It follows item number one hundred and twenty two, convert lead into gold. We'll see how far we get with that one first.

The assistant then takes me into the examination room and asks me a most absurd question, "Why are you here?". To which she gets an equally absurd response, "The shells told me to come." It makes sense, fight stupid with stupid. Why am I there, clearly because I am under the impression there might be something wrong with me. This isn't astrophysics, Christ! She leaves me reading about the World Cup in the copy of ESPN Magazine that I cop'd from the waiting room.

Dr. Jose comes into the room, and wonders aloud, "Chulo why are you here?" I explain to him that the shells told me that it would be a good idea if i had a complete physical. He looks at me thinking that I'm talking about a restaurant. I'm like no, and then start to tell the story. He's Puerto Rican, he'll understand. I told him I had a reading, and that the shells told me that there might be something wrong that I don't know about, and I should have everything checked. Still slightly confused, he asks, "Brujeria?". I'm like, "Bingo!'. He shakes his head, tells me that I am more Puerto Rican than he is, but what can we lose.

After Dr. Jose and I do the whole breathe in/breathe out thing and he listens to my heart and then sends me out for blood work. Four tubes of blood, a list of blood tests (that does not include an all of the above option) and a small cup of urine later and I was on my way. Keep in mind, when she put the needle in to draw blood it shot all over her cuz clearly it was her first time, but hey, we can't all be good at everything we do. It didn't hurt tho -- if it did then we would have had a problem.

As I was leaving, the woman at the out door was like ten dollars please. I looked at her like why. She said that United Health doesn't cover the blood drawing phase of the lab work. I looked at her like and? She was like ten bucks. I was like, I never paid ten bucks before, no one said anything -- can Dr. Jose waive this fee. She was like, he's the doctor, he can do whatever he wants. So I go to his office and I'm like she wants ten dollars. He's like you don't have ten bucks, to which I replied, "I barely had fifteen for the co-pay." He told the woman to let me go.

I left the office only to find the elevator out of order and a staircase that took me all the way around to the other side of the building.

I love trips to see him, it's always eventful and entertaining...

I Thought She Flew Away: Nelly Furtado - Loose

she's been in hiding
working on a new C-D
clearly it paid off

Today, Nelly Furtado's Loose album hit the iTunes Music Store as well as those ancient retail locations world wide. I gotta tell ya folks, shit's pretty hot, and I mean besides the track that most of you heard on that random VZW commercial.

She's joined on the album by Timbaland, who's deep voice and killer beats add so much to the musical texture, and Juanes who adds an infectious spanish hook in two of the tracks; both of whom I enjoy. From the first track to the last track, none of which sound the same, will keep your attention and make you wonder aloud, "Nelly, where the fuck you been?". I know I did.

I got a copy of this CD off of iTunes. For ten bucks it is definitely worth it. Not only do you get the whole CD, but you also get an interactive version of the booklet that usually comes in the CD case. Surely that must be worth something. The only thing I didn't like were the small interludes -- but that's not a Nelly Furtado problem, I just don't like the interruptions. All in all, I think you should check out the CD -- it's different than her old stuff and it's a lot more hip hop than it is pop.

* * * * / 5

Promiscuous boy... You already know... That I’m all yours... What you waiting for?

And Yet Another Random Movie Quote: Capote

he had a small voice
yet his works were beyond great
the movie profound

Truman Capote: I had lunch with Jimmy Baldwin the other day.
Party Guest: How is he?
Truman Capote: He's lovely, he's a lovely man. And he told me the plot of his new book. And he said to me, "I just wanted to make sure it's not one of those problem novels," you know. And I said , "Jimmy. You're book is about a Negro homosexual who's in love with a Jew. Wouldn't you call that a problem?"
[Party Guests Laugh]
Truman Capote: And he looked at me and he laughed because he knew I was right. I'm saying, you know, if you're going to write something like that, at least be honest why you're writing it.
Party Guest: Can't we just be honest?
Truman Capote: Well, I don't think you actually need to be honest. But don't come asking some white man from the South whether your book about a black man fucking some Jew, when they're both of the same sex, is an issue! Don't ask me that! Oh, no, it's not an issue, Jimmy. Everyone's gonna be quite pleased with that topic.

Writing is such great fun when you're controversial, isn't it?

Have You Ever Put an Egg in a Microwave?

heartbreak is nothing
however when it explodes
you know it's the end

The past forty-eight hours I spent with Principio, yes, the first. Everything went well. He took me to his God Parent's house and I got a reading, it was dead on balls accurate, but now that I'm thinking about it more things are making me start to question nearly every relationship in my life -- starting from my parents, to my sibling, to my friends and even El Amor de Mi Vida.

The problem that we are encountering here, bear with me, I'm writing this after two bars of Xanax so I could calm the fuck down because a bombshell has been dropped on me, and I'm really uncomfortable with the news that I found out.

Principio, El Amor de Mi Vida, has been wanting to get back together with me for the longest time since we broke up. I'm sure you all remember that. He told me I was a bad boyfriend (granted I had a broken leg and he says now he didn't mean it, but it still hurts). This happened after he stayed in my house for a month in Florida with me. After I welcomed him into my home, cursed out my parents for being rude cunts and made them apologize for their behaviour towards him, until everything was hunky dory.

This trip to New York was one that should have never taken place.

Let me preface this story with that line because it's important.

Principio and I went to the Little School House after margaritas. We were feeling them, but hey, they were really good. As I entered the club in my typical fashion, I failed to see the King of Spain and My Size Dominican at the bar. Right there I should have known to get Principio out as he was never a fan of My Size Dominican. But instead, like the pendejo I am, we stuck around. He left me at the bar with my Dominicans and proceeded to throw shade to this nigga who "sucked his dick".

Dique.

He spent more time with him than with me, which really upset me because I don't live here, and I don't understand how you can ignore the person you came with like that. It isn't right. I continued to drink, and then by the time we had left the club, Principio and I, The King of Spain and everyone else and we made our own tracks... Until My Size Dominican called me and wanted to know what we were up to. So we met up and hung out at a random diner. Keep in mind, Principio never really cared for My Size Dominican. Things obviously changed when they finally met, as they exchanged numbers.

From that time, Thursday evening, they had been text messaging until they day that it was time to leave, practically the entire week that I had spent in New York. Keep in mind that he hated My Size Dominican until they day that they met. I suppose it's partially my fault because I introduced them, but you know what, if either of them cared for me, then they would know that they were both off limits. It's just a matter of principle. You don't do that.

He said he loved me, tears were shed and then he busts out with I'm really feeling My Size Dominican. If you look at the Nation of Chulo, if I were to go into his Casa de Santo and find someone that he cared about and pulled this shit, then something would have hit the fan.

All I know is that if anything happens between the two of them, then that's guaranteed to ruin any chance for Principio and I to get back together. I know that there is no way in hell that I will have my heart torn our of my chest yet again, I know better than that.

Principio and I agreed on an open relation for the time being, that's one thing I can attempt to do, but to have an open relationship with people that either of us have a history with, especially one that's known after My Size Dominican Gate.

What I can't fathom for the life of me is how someone who supposedly cares so much about me -- who loves me -- could go and begin something so malignant that it could only cause a ginormous rift in our relationship. It seems as if it was an intentional thing meant to push us apart so that the relationship could finally come to an end.

As I sit here in tears, wondering what the fuck is going on in my life, I can only imagine who else is involved in this tangled web that I've found myself trapped in. Am I one who deserves to be treated like this? Is it Karma? I was probably one of the best things to come his way in some time, even with me in Florida. Maybe I need to find someone older, more mature, someone who would never play me dirty in such a way like this... but I love him.

Ese hombre que tu ves allí que aparente ser divino tan amable y efusivo solo sabe hacer sufir...

A Public Service Announcement/Movie Quote...

made of human hands
to place on human penis
helps reduce your risk



“You know, the condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, then you throw it away. The condom, I mean. Not the stranger.” ~ Marla Singer, Fight Club