He Found Someone Else...

he's found someone
did i expect him to wait
was i worth his time

We all know in Homotopia we break up, make up, continue to have sex or whatever other relations and life goes on. I spoke to Principio today about the Scientist from the North and he helped me work out some issues in my head. It was during the conversation that he told me he found someone else -- but nothing was official.

I broke up with him because he told me I treated him like a bad boyfriend. Keep in mind three important things; 1. I had a broken leg and couldn't really fly to New York with a cast, 2. He lived in the Bronx, and 3. He was my first official boyfriend. I could only take so much of the self depreciating comments he would make, especially in my weakened condition, so I told him If this is how you feel, feel free to find someone else because I can't do this right now, I need to do me.

Bear in mind folks, this is after a two week stay at my parent's house. With a broken leg we were able to fuck each other like animals. Not that it's all about fucking, there was an emotional aspect there as well, the cuddling, the kissing, the watching movies together. I tried to give him everything he wanted. (I even bought his ticket down... Javy, shut up!)

After he returned to the Bronx he started listening to his boys. Yo, how you gonna have a long distance relationship, you trust this nigga like that. And with those planted seeds all hell broke loose. I was stuck in bed for five months, so I was well behaved, and I trusted him enough to think he was too. I don't think he was unfaithful during our five month relationship.

I'm still in Florida and hope to get to New York soon -- for good. Did I expect him to wait for me? Am I that pompous to believe that I'm worth not pursuing other relationships until Chulo comes "home"? Call me a fool, but I kinda did. When I came to New York, I always looked forward to seeing him. The taste of his lips, his scent, the way he'd look at me. But now I don't know how I feel about him doing those things to someone else. He was after all my first, and the first you always fall hardest for. I did break up with him tho, so I deserve what I get.

Principio, I hope, will always be a part of me. We spent years together living in the same town and had no idea, only to find him on that horrible website by accident. The times we spent together were wonderful, and I wouldn't change anything, even that time I fell off the bed. I don't know how serious his new person is, but if it gets that far, I do wish him nothing but luck. I'm sure he'll enjoy your goofy laugh and dorky jokes... and that belt with the bells on it. Just keep that brown snorkel coat aside for when I come to visit. You know it looks better on me.

If things get serious with this kid, let me know. I don't want to be the only one holding a candle for something that's eventually going to burn me in the end. We were good together when we were actually in the same metropolitan area, and if/when I move back who knows what could happen. You'll always be my Ace.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I still have feelings for you, and regardless of the Scientist from the North fiasco, you were real to me. I still don't want to rush into anything because our obvious distance makes things hard for both of us. I'll always be here for you lindo, and I hope that if/when you do have a new boyfriend, you'll still have Principio/Chulo time, because, while I may not say it often, you complete me.

You had me at hello...