The Jew Came Back... The Very Next Day...

he gave big bone shit
but did not know i was home
he'd best think again

Today Bobby Big-Bone had an open house showcasing the property to realtors in the area. The event had a great turnout. We provided lunch in exchange for a business card. It wouldn't have been memorable if it wasn't for the man paying us a visit.

The doorbell rang and Bobby Big-Bone went to answer it. To his surprise he found Janus and some homely bitch at the door quoting some association dogma about his "For Sale" sign in the grass and about neighbors complaining. Keep in mind it was not in the ground for more than five minutes before he came a'knockin. Not wanting to cause any trouble, Bobby took the sign out of the ground and sent that jew mother fucker and the elderly cunt on their way. When he returned to the kitchen I inquired as to who it was that interrupted our preparation for the party, to which he replied, "Oh, it was people from the Association, they made me take down my sign..." That was all I needed to hear. As most of you know, I hate these people with every fiber of my being. My parents kiss their ass and get shit on, I'm not about to do the same.

Chulo's wearing some beat down shorts, a ratty t-shirt and his red cast. His hair is fro'd out and he has mad pain in his armpit from a growth that has gone untreated.

I exited the house to find them walking away victorious -- I pause and nod to the Mexican who is planting trees by the rocks Janus was so kind to have dumped in front of the house -- finally I shout out in an inquisitive tone, "DO WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE?" The two of them stop, turn and look at the sight that had emerged from the house.


The following is how the conversation continued:

Janus: No, we don't have a problem. It's against the association rules to have real estate signs in the yard. People have called and complained already.
Chulo: Oh, people have called and complained about the sign in front of my house. I have a question, aside from us, did anyone call to complain about those god awful rocks in front of the house?
J:Oh, well technically, that's not your land. But no, no one else had called to complain about the rocks. Those were put there to protect the community.
C: Oh, I get it, because it only effects my family that makes it ok. What if I were to roll those rocks into the street and make it everyone's problem? Then I bet you'd be getting a lot of phone calls, don't you? If ya'll moved the gate instead of pulling some half assed shit like this then there wouldn't be a security problem for you to need to dump rocks here.
J: I spoke to your father about that, I told him I was 100% behind him when it came to moving the gate.
Old Cunt: That's not our problem, that's the builders of the development, I told your father that.
C: You know, that's great. Have you nothing better to do that drive around busting my balls? It seems that every time we try to take a breath, you're over here with some kind of problem. You want to fine us when we installed the gutters, you dump these rocks here to protect everyone else and now you're ruining my open house.
OC:No, we do not single your family out...
J:While I do drive around all day, I'm on the lookout for anything that might be in violation of the Association's rules, not just your family, but all residents here.
BOBBY BIG BONE ENTERS SCENE FROM THE HOUSE
Bobby: I need your help inside...
C: You're elected, aren't you?
J: Why yes, yes I am. You're welcome to come to the meetings to propose changes to the rules...
C: That's great. Just remember that an elected official your job is temporary... I got my eye on you. It was great talking to the both of you. Have a good day.

CHULO AND BOBBY BIG BONE LEAVE

So I return to the house and putter around. Something tells me to go check to see if those stalkers have left yet. Sure enough, wouldn't you know they're hanging out in front of the house? I look at them, "DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GATHER IN YOUR VEHICLE? Janus looks at me all confused like what? I reply, "CAN YOU GET IN YOUR CAR AND NOT HANG OUT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE... IT'S JUST A REQUEST." Again, I turn and walk away back into the house. The two of them chilled in front of the house for another fifteen minutes before they finally got the hint and left. Damn sons of bitches want to fuck with me -- wait until I find out where he lives so I can bust HIS balls.

What goes around, comes around...